Asking For Help

Asking For Help

I’ve never been really good at asking for help. Even when I’m paying a Coach, it’s not been unheard of for them to have to remind me to reach out when I need an ear.

Sometimes I’m really great at it and sometimes I’m not. It’s something I have to remind myself that it’s okay to do. Because you see, at a young age when I found myself in certain situations I just started handling them myself, keeping it all inside, and manning up like a good little soldier but as I’ve grown and expanded I’ve learned that is not at all how I want to operate. It doesn’t allow me to have the life, freedom, and feelings that I want.

So, I started actively working on that a few years ago and in the process I built up a pretty cool circle of support, people outside of my normal “friends circle”. People who know more than me or had more experience, different experiences or expertise, people who could offer me a non judgmental ear and someone to share triumphs, weaknesses, and all of the in-betweens with. But over the last few months I slowly started to revert back, back to not asking, not confiding in my inner circle and instead I was handling it all in my own head, in my own journal, and unfortunately projecting a lot of it at my partner because well, he was only my support system here. Continue reading “Asking For Help”

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Grace

Grace

Grace. It’s a name I always said I would give my daughter, if I ever have one. But lately it’s become something I’ve been giving myself more regularly and in turn realizing that I have been greatly depriving myself of so much joy and space by not doing so sooner.

I’ve discovered that through giving yourself a little grace you allow yourself to truly feel what you need to feel when you need to feel it. Through grace I’ve discovered that pressuring yourself on a tight deadline every single day is the opposite of what creates the flow and alignment we all so desperately seek.

Through practicing grace I’ve discovered that if we choose to not only honor who we are and what we need but also give ourselves the compassion and space necessary to truly blossom into our greatest potential. Continue reading “Grace”

Anxiety

Anxiety

Happiness is a choice.

I say that a lot and people who battle depression and/or anxiety tell me I’m wrong. That the choice of happiness is out of their control. Being someone who deals with anxiety, I understand how much more difficult it is to flip your mindset when these emotions try to take over.

And sometimes it wins. Sometimes you can’t shut it up in time and you go into a spiral of doubt and guilt and questioning everything. Even if you logically know none of what your emotions are telling you is at all truth, it’s still very present and grows almost at a rapid rate.
Continue reading “Anxiety”

Don’t Pretend

Don’t Pretend

You can be sexy AND smart AND interesting AND sought after without being a chameleon.

I watch so many women mold to what they “think” a guy wants them to be and it kills me that people think this is the way to find happiness.

Ladies— I hate to break it to you but you can’t keep up the charade forever. Eventually, you’ll start being who you really are under the mask and pretend hobbies and fake interests and then your man will look at you like “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?”
Continue reading “Don’t Pretend”

My Stalker

My Stalker

“Because despite all the IG posts and feel good hashtags, you know you’re a fucking failure.”

That’s a line out of the the latest love letter from my stalker I received recently. This same woman has been creating fake accounts and email addresses for years to try and get to me.

It started years ago when I took a permanent stance as the woman on the arm of a “local celebrity” that she thought was supposed to be hers. From numerous letters in the mail, to texts from ghost numbers, to calls at my old place of employment telling me that she found my dog on the side of the highway, to over 20 fake social media accounts created in order to keep tabs on me, you name it… she’s done it.

When this email came through, I literally laughed out loud. Then instantly moved it into the folder labeled “stalkers” I have in my inbox that holds all of the hate mail I have received over the years. Continue reading “My Stalker”

My Battle

My Battle

Originally published June 28, 2018

“I just don’t feel good” —  I have never openly spoke about this in detail…not in true detail, so please bear with me as I try to get this out.

I realized this past weekend that no one really knows what that means when I briefly, nonchalantly mention it to people in passing, “I get sick”. And that is mainly because it is something I’ve spent most of my life being ridiculously embarrassed by.
Continue reading “My Battle”

Transformation

Transformation

“I used to think it was some extravagant thing, but now I realize it’s just your life.”

I was talking with a client earlier this week about how her lifestyle has been shifting. Her perspective has changed and she now looks at life very different than she used to. She made a note that everyone should always work with me for at least six months because she thought she was making breakthroughs before but this is a whole new level.

I explained that it’s like a muscle. Being able to pay attention enough to actually SEE purely is not something you can just turn on like a switch, it’s something you must work at, strengthen everyday, test, flex, grow. Continue reading “Transformation”