Celebration List

Celebration List

Lately I spend more time writing about the facts than anything else.

In my journal, that is. I’m writing a “celebration” list of all I’ve accomplished for the day. Documenting facts in order to combat the voice in my head that has always done a good job of convincing me that I’m not doing enough.

I’m writing ‘Dear Diary’ style letters to myself giving me permission to just BE. Permission to actually see that without massive to-do lists or lofty goals, I’m still doing So Much Every Day. Permission to follow the flow. Permission to operate differently than what once was my go to way of living. Continue reading “Celebration List”

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8 Years Ago

8 Years Ago

This weekend marks 8 years since I finally walked away (Originally written May 25).

Man, sometimes it feels like 15 and other times it feels like it was an entirely different lifetime altogether.

For years I would never admit this part to anyone that wasn’t actually present for the mess that was my life at the moment but I originally left in December. It wasn’t until the end of May that I was finally, finally, really really really left. Like left left. Never turned back. Never had another conversation. And the really interesting part is, I literally have no seen his face or heard his voice since that day.

It’s interesting because for more than half of these past 8 years, we lived ridiculously close to one another. Still in the same town, hell..almost on the same damn street and never once did I run into him or see him somewhere.

If that’s not the universe having my back, I don’t know what is. Continue reading “8 Years Ago”

The Decision

The Decision

The decision. The one made with no clue how it will actually come to life, no idea how it’s going to be delivered, or when and still, you decide.

Just the belief that it will be.

The utter certainty that it will, in fact be your reality.

Actually, it already is.

Inside your mind, that thing you’ve decided on, that choice you’ve made, it’s already yours. Continue reading “The Decision”

Asking For Help

Asking For Help

I’ve never been really good at asking for help. Even when I’m paying a Coach, it’s not been unheard of for them to have to remind me to reach out when I need an ear.

Sometimes I’m really great at it and sometimes I’m not. It’s something I have to remind myself that it’s okay to do. Because you see, at a young age when I found myself in certain situations I just started handling them myself, keeping it all inside, and manning up like a good little soldier but as I’ve grown and expanded I’ve learned that is not at all how I want to operate. It doesn’t allow me to have the life, freedom, and feelings that I want.

So, I started actively working on that a few years ago and in the process I built up a pretty cool circle of support, people outside of my normal “friends circle”. People who know more than me or had more experience, different experiences or expertise, people who could offer me a non judgmental ear and someone to share triumphs, weaknesses, and all of the in-betweens with. But over the last few months I slowly started to revert back, back to not asking, not confiding in my inner circle and instead I was handling it all in my own head, in my own journal, and unfortunately projecting a lot of it at my partner because well, he was only my support system here. Continue reading “Asking For Help”

Grace

Grace

Grace. It’s a name I always said I would give my daughter, if I ever have one. But lately it’s become something I’ve been giving myself more regularly and in turn realizing that I have been greatly depriving myself of so much joy and space by not doing so sooner.

I’ve discovered that through giving yourself a little grace you allow yourself to truly feel what you need to feel when you need to feel it. Through grace I’ve discovered that pressuring yourself on a tight deadline every single day is the opposite of what creates the flow and alignment we all so desperately seek.

Through practicing grace I’ve discovered that if we choose to not only honor who we are and what we need but also give ourselves the compassion and space necessary to truly blossom into our greatest potential. Continue reading “Grace”

Anxiety

Anxiety

Happiness is a choice.

I say that a lot and people who battle depression and/or anxiety tell me I’m wrong. That the choice of happiness is out of their control. Being someone who deals with anxiety, I understand how much more difficult it is to flip your mindset when these emotions try to take over.

And sometimes it wins. Sometimes you can’t shut it up in time and you go into a spiral of doubt and guilt and questioning everything. Even if you logically know none of what your emotions are telling you is at all truth, it’s still very present and grows almost at a rapid rate.
Continue reading “Anxiety”

Don’t Pretend

Don’t Pretend

You can be sexy AND smart AND interesting AND sought after without being a chameleon.

I watch so many women mold to what they “think” a guy wants them to be and it kills me that people think this is the way to find happiness.

Ladies— I hate to break it to you but you can’t keep up the charade forever. Eventually, you’ll start being who you really are under the mask and pretend hobbies and fake interests and then your man will look at you like “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?”
Continue reading “Don’t Pretend”