Grateful

Grateful

“I am grateful for the courage to fully feel my feelings and to keep being vulnerable through it all.”

I was writing this morning and that came up.

For most of my life I never let myself be vulnerable. I never truly felt my feelings. I hid them in a busy schedule or new project. I pushed them down because God forbid I be “emotional”, the guys best friend girl isn’t emotional, don’t you know that?

I was always told how strong I was. People would always compliment me on my ability to stay strong, move forward, heal after being knocked down in some really ugly ways over the years. So that’s what I became, strong. I became the strong one. The one who didn’t let things get to her. The one who always had everything under control. The one who smiled anyway. Continue reading “Grateful”

8 Years Ago

8 Years Ago

This weekend marks 8 years since I finally walked away (Originally written May 25).

Man, sometimes it feels like 15 and other times it feels like it was an entirely different lifetime altogether.

For years I would never admit this part to anyone that wasn’t actually present for the mess that was my life at the moment but I originally left in December. It wasn’t until the end of May that I was finally, finally, really really really left. Like left left. Never turned back. Never had another conversation. And the really interesting part is, I literally have no seen his face or heard his voice since that day.

It’s interesting because for more than half of these past 8 years, we lived ridiculously close to one another. Still in the same town, hell..almost on the same damn street and never once did I run into him or see him somewhere.

If that’s not the universe having my back, I don’t know what is. Continue reading “8 Years Ago”

Haunted

Haunted

Originally posted on May 23rd, 2019…

Lately, sometimes, it literally feels like I’m being haunted.

Haunted by the things that happened, haunted by the promises I believed, the future that I so clearly saw. Haunted by the person you once were, the person who surely no longer exists but at one time was the realest soul I’ve ever encountered in this lifetime. Continue reading “Haunted”

Strong Woman

Strong Woman

Everyone wants a strong woman until they see how strong she is.
She will not be broken.
She doesn’t hesitate when it comes to protecting her peace and does so by any means.
You see, everyone wants a strong woman until they see she’s stronger than they thought.
Her love cannot be bought. 
She doesn’t mean to intimidate, but she remembers what life was like when she was weak.
She decided that life wasn’t for her anymore.
Instead of waiting for a hero, she saved herself. – R.solo

The strength and security is intimidating to some, sure.

But for those who are meant to stay, those worthy of her time and space, those people will look past the strength and see the softness too. Continue reading “Strong Woman”

What’s The Deal With That Chick You Train?

What’s The Deal With That Chick You Train?

Apparently there’s this strange situation in my gym where I’ve become the “mystery girl” and people keep cornering my trainer when I’m not there and questioning him about me. Seriously, I can’t make this shit up.

Now if you met Brent (my personal trainer) you’d understand that he’s super straight forward, means business, determined, and focused dude. Doesn’t talk shit. Always takes action. No nonsense kind of guy. So when various guys in the gym started coming up to him while he was working out alone and asking about me, his responses were hilarious. Continue reading “What’s The Deal With That Chick You Train?”

Be The Change

Be The Change

Sometimes I wonder if you’ve ever done to her what you did to me.

When the doors are shut and there’s no one around and you have no one else to take your anger out on. Do you turn to her like you did to me?

Then I think, if you haven’t…when will you?

I mean, it’s only a matter of time isn’t it? Continue reading “Be The Change”

Top Lessons I Learned in 2017

Top Lessons I Learned in 2017

For those of you who have been following me for a while… You know that I’m constantly doing things. I made the commitment a couple years ago to dive head first into this entrepreneurial world. It’s been enlightening. It’s been scary. It’s been the textbook definition of a roller coaster ride. I am so grateful in many ways, and I’m so grateful for all of you. You’ve watched me continue to expand this journey. It just means the freaking world to me. It’s honestly an honor to have you in my space, and in my world.

There’s a lot of lessons from 2017… I’m a firm believer that if you’re not feeling uncomfortable, and making mistakes, and learning lessons then you’re not growing. That means you’re standing still. That’s not a good place to be, right? At least not for me. I’ll go crazy.
Continue reading “Top Lessons I Learned in 2017”