It’s in the moments.
The moments between the noise. Continue reading “Moments”
At least it’s a visual reminder as to why.You create a solid foundation so that when life happens and you fall off the track for a bit, everything doesn’t go to shit.
Real talk, my life took a super unexpected and interesting turn over the past 9 months… or year really. I started diving in, DEEP. Unearthing things that I had buried and didn’t acknowledge for years. I cleared so many things mentally and physically it’s almost impossible to even explain. And then I fell in love, listened to a message bigger than me and uprooted my life, moved 600 miles away, created a life there, learned, grew, tried my best, played out some karmic soul contract related shit, learned so many lessons about who I am and how fucking strong I actually am as a human, moved back, and have been hard at work rebuilding every thing I ever knew. Every social contract. Every obligation. Every deeply rooted behavior. Every automatic response. Every way of processing emotions. Every way of existing.I have spent the past 6 months learning new and healthier ways to navigate every single area of my world. Continue reading “Solid Foundation”
I am happy.
In a totally different way than ever before.
For very different reasons.
In some of the same beautiful ways but more so, in brand new, exciting, mindshattering ways.
And apparently THIS (pictured below) is the face of that happiness. It’s what expression I have instantly made in every photo for quite a while now. When I try to smile with my teeth, which is the norm for me and it looks forced and weird and inauthentic right now. I’m not sure how to explain it but that is obviously not the expression of the type of happiness I’m experiencing right now and I am totally okay with that!
This expression is one of exploration. It is one of adventure. It is one of learning. It is one of deeply experiencing something fucking beautiful with zero idea of how to really put said experiences into words just yet.
This expression is perfect for this phase
I’ve never been really good at asking for help. Even when I’m paying a Coach, it’s not been unheard of for them to have to remind me to reach out when I need an ear.
Sometimes I’m really great at it and sometimes I’m not. It’s something I have to remind myself that it’s okay to do. Because you see, at a young age when I found myself in certain situations I just started handling them myself, keeping it all inside, and manning up like a good little soldier but as I’ve grown and expanded I’ve learned that is not at all how I want to operate. It doesn’t allow me to have the life, freedom, and feelings that I want.
So, I started actively working on that a few years ago and in the process I built up a pretty cool circle of support, people outside of my normal “friends circle”. People who know more than me or had more experience, different experiences or expertise, people who could offer me a non judgmental ear and someone to share triumphs, weaknesses, and all of the in-betweens with. But over the last few months I slowly started to revert back, back to not asking, not confiding in my inner circle and instead I was handling it all in my own head, in my own journal, and unfortunately projecting a lot of it at my partner because well, he was only my support system here. Continue reading “Asking For Help”
The heat kicks on in this house and it’s like you turned on a white noise machine. Chandler hates it because it means he has to turn up the TV to hear his shows, but I actually find it super comforting, especially in the morning before anyone else is awake. It’s like a barrier of sound that muffles everything just a little bit, just enough for me to refocus my thoughts when life gets a little too loud.
And guys, let me tell you life has been really damn loud lately. A lot has been happening that I couldn’t have planned for if I was Merlin himself but as I sit here this morning reflecting back on how life has been transpiring lately and looking to what this week has in store, I can honestly say that through it all, I’ve stayed surprisingly calm. Continue reading “Life Has Been Really Loud Lately”
I’ve been a little quiet lately, I know but sometimes when life is happening and it’s not just MY story to tell… as things transpire I have to keep it to myself. As I’ve been learning to mesh my life with that of another amazing human and an equally amazing kiddo and navigate it all so everyone is being served and everything is flowing, I’ve lost a little bit of my voice.
When I sit to write and reflect, the writing part hasn’t been happening as often. Simply because my brain needs the reflection and quiet time more now than it ever has before.
Talk about a whirlwind. The past couple of months have been just that. Insanely rewarding and my heart is so full but equally exhausting at the same time. And I miss my voice. I miss my platform and today, today the words started to flow for the first time in a long time and it felt GOOD.
It’s all slowly falling into place so I felt called to give ya’ll a little update and let you know I’m still here. Still building. Still creating. Still manifesting my reality. Still helping my clients. Still active in my groups.
I think maybe without really meaning to I’ve been silently preparing for what feels like a comeback… even though I haven’t fallen, not even a little bit.
Regardless, it’s about to go down… in the most magical and amazing way possible so stay tuned.
I went to catch up with a friend this morning, we met outside of the restaurant and I yelled my normal, “WHAT’S UPPPP!” greeting across the lot. As we were walking in, he replied “Well apparently EVERYTHING. You have a lot to tell me, huh?”
“Yep. All of the things are happening.”
“Like all of the things… at the same time.”
“Ya know, all of the things all in about 5 minutes. Yes. Quick and fast, just how I like it. You know I’m impatient.” I said jokingly.
And as we were seated to enjoy our usual, but massively overdue breakfast date, I went on to tell him about the huge realizations I’ve uncovered recently, the changes in my business structure, the fact that I met a man, fell in love basically instantly, and within days from now will be cohabitating with said man… in a different state.
Continue reading “Patience Has Nothing To Do With It”
You grow up seeing what is possible by observing your surroundings. You see what’s “okay” or “normal” to have and that’s what you strive to achieve. Maybe it’s a little bit of your own variation but typically, it is super similar to what you’ve seen created around you.
And there is nothing wrong with that, nothing at all.
But what if you’re that little girl who not only daydreamed about an extraordinary life but also somehow knew that it was actually possible?
Continue reading “Growing Up”
Patterns. They’re a tricky thing…Something we do each time a certain situation presents itself in our lives. Something that is our “normal” reaction. But not like shivering when you’re cold kind of reaction, like drastic, sometimes life altering reactions that we make subconsciously to either shield ourselves from something or make us feel safe again.
Lately, I’ve been experiencing a lot of new things. Well, finding myself in positions I haven’t found myself in many years.
So currently when I’ve found myself standing in these sort of “uncharted territories”, I’ve taken this as an opportunity to look around and see what my natural reaction is (or what I would have done 10 years ago when I was in this spot) and then dissect WHY that is my reaction or where my subconscious naturally takes me. Continue reading “Patterns”