What Do You Do For Fun?

What Do You Do For Fun?

“What do you do for fun?”
To be honest, that question always throws me. I know it’s one of the go-to’s when people are trying to get to know someone or reconnecting with a lost friend or acquaintance but it’s a question that I tend to normally cringe at. Maybe it’s the dreaded small talk, but maybe it’s not.

I found myself faced with this question recently in an innocent conversation while reconnecting with someone and I thought to myself, “Wait, what DO I do for fun?”

“Do I even have fun?”

As I continued to question myself I thought, “Oh shit… Maybe I don’t actually have fun. What am I doing with myself? Damn, am I this boring person who does nothing?” Continue reading “What Do You Do For Fun?”

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Celebration List

Celebration List

Lately I spend more time writing about the facts than anything else.

In my journal, that is. I’m writing a “celebration” list of all I’ve accomplished for the day. Documenting facts in order to combat the voice in my head that has always done a good job of convincing me that I’m not doing enough.

I’m writing ‘Dear Diary’ style letters to myself giving me permission to just BE. Permission to actually see that without massive to-do lists or lofty goals, I’m still doing So Much Every Day. Permission to follow the flow. Permission to operate differently than what once was my go to way of living. Continue reading “Celebration List”

My New Place

My New Place

When I first moved into my new place I was sitting on the floor on pillows where my couch was supposed to be, looking around my living room at the small amount of furniture I had and I started to envision what I wanted this room to be for me.

I visualized this desk. This simple desk carefully placed under this big window. This desk is where I would write all of my stories. This chapter was about to be the best one yet and this space would be the perfect setting for it to all unfold. Continue reading “My New Place”

I am Happy

I am happy.

In a totally different way than ever before.

For very different reasons.

In some of the same beautiful ways but more so, in brand new, exciting, mindshattering ways.

And apparently THIS (pictured below) is the face of that happiness. It’s what expression I have instantly made in every photo for quite a while now. When I try to smile with my teeth, which is the norm for me and it looks forced and weird and inauthentic right now. I’m not sure how to explain it but that is obviously not the expression of the type of happiness I’m experiencing right now and I am totally okay with that!

This expression is one of exploration. It is one of adventure. It is one of learning. It is one of deeply experiencing something fucking beautiful with zero idea of how to really put said experiences into words just yet.

This expression is perfect for this phase 

Time…

Time…

Time is something I’ve made a living out of “creating” more of. Or actually just showing people how changing their mindset and purpose behind things can seemingly create more time in their worlds for the things that they actually want to do. It’s almost like bending reality, but it’s really just a matter of changing the foundation of how you’re operating first.

But here’s the thing… Me and time, we’ve not ever really been friends…until recently. And still now I’m just warming up to the thought of it. More like I’m just accepting the fact that I cannot control it and it is a necessary piece of how all things happen or play out in our worlds. Basically, I used to almost throw a mini temper tantrum in my mind when time wasn’t on my side and demand information now, demand to see the end of the book now, and if I couldn’t (which was always the case) I would get really stubborn and apply pressure until I “thought” I was getting something to happen. You see, this didn’t always turn out badly but it was also using a lot of energy that I didn’t realize at the time was truly meant for bigger and better things. And since I’ve realized that you should measure your energy the same so you do your time, or at least take both into consideration. Continue reading “Time…”

Let’s Talk About Pooping…

Let’s Talk About Pooping…

Okay, let’s talk about pooping.

Yep, you read that right but it’s not what you think. I’m not going to talk to you about how your diet effects your bowel movements or try to tell you about the latest cleanse. What I’m wanting to talk about is the amount of time people spend in the bathroom “pooping” or most likely just sitting there on your phone hiding away from the world and killing some time.

Here’s the thing… If it legit takes you 45 minutes to take a shit every single day then you probably DO need to see a doctor or adjust your diet because that is not healthy. But if you’re sitting there fucking around on your phone or daydreaming or just wasting time, then only you can be honest with yourself about that. The whole “act” of doing your business in there probably takes 5-10 minutes tops. The sitting and dragging it out into a marathon is simply a choice.

Now maybe it’s a conscious choice. Maybe it’s the place where you choose to get some quiet time away from the loudness of your life (or kids). Maybe it’s where you get caught up responding to comments on social media. Maybe it’s where you take a little time to read that blog you subscribe to without being interrupted. All of those things are a CHOICE. And if that is an intentional part of your day, then more power to ya my friend. Do you, just wash your hands and your phone when you’re done.

But here’s my point here… how many of you are actually being conscious with of ALL of your time? Continue reading “Let’s Talk About Pooping…”

Down 11 Pounds

Down 11 Pounds

First picture, I’m standing at 128 lbs and feeling excellent. I hadn’t been lifting consistency but my nutrition was pretty solid.

Second picture, I’m down 11 lbs… Most of which was probably muscle but that’s just an assumption.

This loss was not on purpose. Not even a little bit! It followed a month long battle with a cold, then influenza mixed with a bunch a stress that ended me up in a pretty ugly bout with my hypoglycemia. I haven’t had an episode that bad in over a year. It took days to recover. I could barely move, let alone stand. It took everything I had to drink water or 3 bites of oatmeal. It was terrible.

I felt lifeless. I was scared. I remember waking up my boyfriend telling him it was worse than I thought and I was scared to go to the hospital. We decided I’d get strict and try to fight it, even if that meant him reminding me to drink pedialyte every hour because it was the last thing I wanted to do.

Do you know what being in that kind of physical state does to your mental state? It makes you think you’re the worst person in the world. It convinces you that you’re a burden on those who love you. It convinces you that it’s all your fault and if you weren’t such a terrible person then you wouldn’t have let your body get to this state in the first place. It makes you feel ashamed for something you truly can’t control. you find yourself apologizing for asking for help even though you really need it. Continue reading “Down 11 Pounds”