Here’s what I know to be true….
You’re never sent down a path you’re not meant to travel.
Even if said path is a total out of the blue left turn, if it’s where you’re feeling called to go, trust me when I say take that damn path! Because what you can’t see yet is where it’s taking you and more importantly, WHY.
That paths sole purpose may be meant to wipe the slate clean, rip the remaining layers back, strip you down into this creature that had been fighting to get out, and then circle you back to what your soul longed for all along. Continue reading “Here’s what I know to be true…”
Once upon a time, I made a choice to not talk about my relationship publicly as I was starting to grow my business online and here’s why;
Because I refused to use his name and status in this city as a means to get business.
Yep. I knew that he had hundreds of connections with the business community that could have benefited from my services and expertise and he would have GLADLY made the introductions but I didn’t want to be hired simply because I was “Tony Twist’s Girlfriend”. So, while the fact that we were in a relationship was in no way a secret, I chose not to exploit it because it was very important to me that I built my business and clientele based on MY own reputation and MY own ability. Not to mention that contrary to popular assumptions, I could care less about his hockey history. That’s never been a part of our relationship.
Flash forward 5 years or so and I just heard about someone still claiming that “He funds her life”. Continue reading “Don’t Assume You Know Shit About Shit”
When you’ve been silently winning battles and totally transforming yourself knowing in your bones that everything is playing out the way it’s supposed to… even in those moments where all you want to do is to have it RIGHT NOW and it’s really hard you can still see so clearly that this is just another piece of what has to transpire in order for you to actually get that thing you want so badly in the first place… you keep the faith. You stay vibing as high as possible. You keep believing that the universe has your back and that things always happen in divine timing.
And then one day you’ll find yourself standing in the middle of what you wanted so badly and you’ll almost be scared to even allow yourself to feel giddy for fear that it might not last or might not be real. Continue reading “Open to Receiving”
*Originally posted September 30th, 2019
My beautiful friend Samantha called me yesterday morning while I was in the middle of a battle with my depression, I wanted to crawl back into bed and hide from the world. I was talking myself through every step.
I ate breakfast and took care of Bonnie. Win.
I showered. Win.
Sat there for like 20 minutes in a towel contemplating getting back under the covers.
Got up and dried my hair instead. Win.
Then I started pacing… I was so mad that I was in this fog. Annoyed to have to deal with it.
Feeling defeated at the thought of having to pull myself out of it… AGAIN. Debating going backwards on some relationship behaviors I’ve been working months to overcome because, well it felt like a quick fix.
Then Samantha called.
I had called her a few hours ago as I felt this all weighing down on me and left a message “it’s heavy today, call me when you can”.
A message that was hard to send but I’ve learned to reach out when I’m drowning. I don’t always listen to that advice but today I did.
Luckily had yet to put my makeup on because I answered the phone feeling okay but the moment she asked what was going on? Queue tears. Continue reading “Battling Depression”
*Originally posted September 21st, 2019
6 years ago I walked into the dealership and did whatever it took to get this Jeep.
I grew up in a car family. It was a joke on our street about how it seemed like one of us was outside washing a vehicle every day. My Dad takes extremely pristine care of his vehicles and instilled that onto me and my brother. But the other thing he taught us by example was to LOVE what you drive.
Six years ago I was driving a brand new Dodge Avenger. It was a nice car. Sporty, good gas mileage, all the bells and whistles but I didn’t “love” it. Truth is, I missed bouncing around town with some over-sized tires and that was actually FUN to drive. Continue reading “Jeepiversary”
The other day I was sitting in the salon chair recapping some current events from my world with my friend and hair stylist when I realized that I had just referenced my therapist and my psychiatrist within a few short breaths of each other. When realizing that, I stopped and jokingly said “Damn, don’t I sound like a mess? It takes a team to keep my head right!” To which she replied “Nope! Sounds smart to me. It’s your job to keep a whole list full of people’s heads and business’s right, only makes sense that you have your own team for yours.”
That comment has been ringing in my head ever since. First off, she was right. And she knows me pretty damn well. We’ve been friends since high school but over the past 4 years she’s been the brains behind this mermaid hair which means she gets the joy of spending 4+ hours with me every few months to install a new set of extensions… so it’s safe to say, she knows all of the things. I’m not sure I’ve ever met someone more understanding or less judgmental in my life and I’m super grateful for that relationship.
Back to my point, I have assembled quite the team of professionals to keep me sane and functioning at a high capacity. Sure, I’m the one spending the money, dedicating the time, and doing the work, but they are there to help me navigate everything in the healthiest way possible. Continue reading “Support System”