Down 11 Pounds

Down 11 Pounds

First picture, I’m standing at 128 lbs and feeling excellent. I hadn’t been lifting consistency but my nutrition was pretty solid.

Second picture, I’m down 11 lbs… Most of which was probably muscle but that’s just an assumption.

This loss was not on purpose. Not even a little bit! It followed a month long battle with a cold, then influenza mixed with a bunch a stress that ended me up in a pretty ugly bout with my hypoglycemia. I haven’t had an episode that bad in over a year. It took days to recover. I could barely move, let alone stand. It took everything I had to drink water or 3 bites of oatmeal. It was terrible.

I felt lifeless. I was scared. I remember waking up my boyfriend telling him it was worse than I thought and I was scared to go to the hospital. We decided I’d get strict and try to fight it, even if that meant him reminding me to drink pedialyte every hour because it was the last thing I wanted to do.

Do you know what being in that kind of physical state does to your mental state? It makes you think you’re the worst person in the world. It convinces you that you’re a burden on those who love you. It convinces you that it’s all your fault and if you weren’t such a terrible person then you wouldn’t have let your body get to this state in the first place. It makes you feel ashamed for something you truly can’t control. you find yourself apologizing for asking for help even though you really need it. Continue reading “Down 11 Pounds”

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I Choose You

I Choose You

“I choose you”. A friend and I were having a conversation today and this came up and it instantly became so apparent to me that people do not put enough emphasis on that statement.

Sure we love each other and that’s great and it can be powerful but what about the fact that you CHOOSE that person?

I don’t know about you, but to me that almost holds more precedence than saying I love you. In romantic relationships I don’t think you can have the commitment of “I choose you” without the foundation of “I love you” but I do believe that you can have the “ I love you” without the choosing. Continue reading “I Choose You”

Rosary

Rosary

I prayed the rosary today for the first time in 10 years.

Yep, the entire thing, all 5 decades. The joyful mysteries. On my Grandma’s rosary that she prayed with every night, using the guide book she used. Those items have been sitting in my night stand drawer since she died… each place I’ve lived since she passed, I moved then with me in my night stand. Today, I felt called to use them.

And before that I was writing my gratitude in a journal in order to fully raise my vibration. Continue reading “Rosary”

Unconditional Love

Unconditional Love

I got really used to making no sense to anyone a really long time ago but I would never had fathomed having to stand up and fight… well, SHINE, as strong and as bright as I can to prove that I’m not going anywhere, that I’m confident in the deeply clear messages I’ve received, that it is possible to not only see above the fog but to make unwavering shifts in order to be better equipped for navigating what’s ahead. Shining light on the fact that unconditional, non judgmental love actually does exist.

Because unfortunately, in this world it is so uncommon for someone to actually be committed, to stick to their word, to be to willing to fight/shine because quitting is simply not an option. That when I speak my truth and my position as confidently as I always have when I am as sure of something as I am right now, I get blank stares and reactions of disbelief… from most at least. Continue reading “Unconditional Love”

Real Change

Real Change

7 years ago I posted the picture on the left as my “goal” physique. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to have curves. I wanted to look that way AND feel healthy.

I had zero idea how to get there.

I would try the regularly suggested methods of eating and all the “fad” ways to get the booty and abs… guess what? None of that worked. And I would go through cycles of consistency, not feel better, not get stronger, and in turn would get discouraged and then give up. Continue reading “Real Change”

You Can Have It All

You Can Have It All

“You can have it all”. Really? Can you really though?

It’s funny, I’ve spent so much time intentionally building this world I live in but still question “Can I really have all of this?”

I mean, I look around at this beautiful home we’ve created, it’s so filled with love, I’m so filled with love and I think about having a strong, healthy body, beautiful skin, being in control of my thoughts and reactions, expanding my mind daily, writing brilliant pieces every day, having amazing relationships with my friends and family, kissing my soul mate before I go to bed every night… AND amazing mermaid hair… AND driving the vehicle of my dreams every day… AND on top of all of that, I get to make money by living on my terms every day and it doesn’t feel hard… WHO THE FUCK DO I THINK I AM TO HAVE ALL OF THIS?

And to want even MORE? Continue reading “You Can Have It All”

Intuitive Knowing

Intuitive Knowing

Wow. My life is weird…. and I freaking love it.

So I was just looking at the training schedule for my Incubator course that’s currently running (that 3 month pod group I launched a couple months ago) and seeing how the calls will fit around my moving date as it’s quickly approaching and it just hit me….

3 months ago I knew I was looking for something but I didn’t know what it was. I had recently met a man and went from single to in a seriously amazing soul connected relationship in like 5 minutes because well… that’s how I manifested this shit to happen, ask any of my friends. I wanted to skip the dating games and go right for the real time.

That’s what we’ve done and I couldn’t be happier. But the crazy thing is to think that just a few months ago moving to a different state wasn’t even on my radar… not even a little bit. Until in a single moment I just realized that it’s where I needed to be, where I wanted to be, where my soul had been searching for and that was that. Continue reading “Intuitive Knowing”