2019 Lessons

2019 Lessons

Last year taught me that everything can change in a short period of time.

The day before 2019 started, I was unloading a truck of my stuff in a new state, into a new home, with a new family. Something that I always felt was way bigger than me, something I almost didn’t really have a say in deciding, I was just drawn to it in the most divine way… Continue reading “2019 Lessons”

My Family

My Family

While driving home from my overly large family gathering on Christmas Eve I was filled with such joy, such knowing, and such belonging… a very rooted feeling.

I started thinking about our history. About where my gigantic family started and about the amazing humans that really hold it all together.

My Grandmother raised 14 kids. Mainly in the hills of West Virginia in a small coal mining town that you’ve probably never heard of, which is a shame because it is hands down one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. There’s a reason they say “Almost heaven, West Virginia”. Continue reading “My Family”

Here’s what I know to be true…

Here’s what I know to be true…

Here’s what I know to be true….

You’re never sent down a path you’re not meant to travel.

Even if said path is a total out of the blue left turn, if it’s where you’re feeling called to go, trust me when I say take that damn path! Because what you can’t see yet is where it’s taking you and more importantly, WHY.

That paths sole purpose may be meant to wipe the slate clean, rip the remaining layers back, strip you down into this creature that had been fighting to get out, and then circle you back to what your soul longed for all along. Continue reading “Here’s what I know to be true…”

Solid Foundation

Solid Foundation
This is why you create a solid foundation.
At least it’s a visual reminder as to why.You create a solid foundation so that when life happens and you fall off the track for a bit, everything doesn’t go to shit.

Real talk, my life took a super unexpected and interesting turn over the past 9 months… or year really. I started diving in, DEEP. Unearthing things that I had buried and didn’t acknowledge for years. I cleared so many things mentally and physically it’s almost impossible to even explain. And then I fell in love, listened to a message bigger than me and uprooted my life, moved 600 miles away, created a life there, learned, grew, tried my best, played out some karmic soul contract related shit, learned so many lessons about who I am and how fucking strong I actually am as a human, moved back, and have been hard at work rebuilding every thing I ever knew. Every social contract. Every obligation. Every deeply rooted behavior. Every automatic response. Every way of processing emotions. Every way of existing.
I have spent the past 6 months learning new and healthier ways to navigate every single area of my world. Continue reading “Solid Foundation”

I Don’t Know About You

I Don’t Know About You

I don’t know about you, but I am no longer in the business of talking people into loving me.

I quit that a long time ago.

I am also no longer in the business of expecting people to love the way I love, respect the way I respect, and honor their word the way I honor mine… this one has been harder to learn but still a “line in the concrete” type of staple these days.

Sometimes though, with some people those old habits still pop up, catch me off guard, and when it does it’s never a rewarding experience for anyone involved. It leads to questioning your own worth, resentment, distrust, and hurt feelings.

So this is my message to whomever needs to hear it tonight, stop pushing people to be a part of your life and stop pushing for an answer or a response on your own timeline.

Be open.
Be compassionate.
Have integrity.
Follow your intuition.
Love with all you have.
But certainly don’t beg people to see it, love it, honor it, or choose it. That’s on them, not you.

Behavioral Patterns

Behavioral Patterns

Behavioral patterns will always speak louder than anything you ever have to say.

It’s more than the action being louder than the words… it’s the collection of actions or reactions to the same or similar situations time after time that tell us what we need to know.

It’s not an easy pill to swallow when you’re the only one noticing it. When you find yourself seeing what someone else has yet to recognize or accept, it’s a sign that you’re repeating your own habit of seeing the potential in someone more than you see the reality of what’s in front of you. Continue reading “Behavioral Patterns”

Half The Strength

Half The Strength

No one ever talks about how mentally difficult it is when you find yourself back in the gym and only having half the strength you used to.

It’s a serious struggle. In an instant you can find yourself feeling dumb, embarrassed, weak, angry, frustrated.

“How did I let this happen?”

It can be paralyzing if you let it. And honestly, several times lately I have let that voice win. And due to that, I started feeling worse. Continue reading “Half The Strength”