*Originally Published July 12, 2019
I took my first business trip when I was 20. I was working for a Risk Management company at the time and the team I was a part of worked for one of the nation’s largest waste management companies. The division I worked for hosted their yearly training in Las Vegas and I was able to go. All expenses paid. It was amazing.
Second time ever being on a plane, first time ever traveling alone. Looking back now I don’t remember having the awareness of how great of an opportunity that was. Continue reading “My First Business Trip”
“What do you do for fun?”
To be honest, that question always throws me. I know it’s one of the go-to’s when people are trying to get to know someone or reconnecting with a lost friend or acquaintance but it’s a question that I tend to normally cringe at. Maybe it’s the dreaded small talk, but maybe it’s not.
I found myself faced with this question recently in an innocent conversation while reconnecting with someone and I thought to myself, “Wait, what DO I do for fun?”
“Do I even have fun?”
As I continued to question myself I thought, “Oh shit… Maybe I don’t actually have fun. What am I doing with myself? Damn, am I this boring person who does nothing?” Continue reading “What Do You Do For Fun?”
I am happy.
In a totally different way than ever before.
For very different reasons.
In some of the same beautiful ways but more so, in brand new, exciting, mindshattering ways.
And apparently THIS (pictured below) is the face of that happiness. It’s what expression I have instantly made in every photo for quite a while now. When I try to smile with my teeth, which is the norm for me and it looks forced and weird and inauthentic right now. I’m not sure how to explain it but that is obviously not the expression of the type of happiness I’m experiencing right now and I am totally okay with that!
This expression is one of exploration. It is one of adventure. It is one of learning. It is one of deeply experiencing something fucking beautiful with zero idea of how to really put said experiences into words just yet.
This expression is perfect for this phase
There is a difference between falling in love and BEING in love.
Falling in love is easy. People do it all the time. Sure, it can be scary sometimes but it’s not a hard thing to do.
But being in love is a totally different animal. I don’t mean the difference between having loving feelings for someone and “being in love”. I’m talking about the day in day out activity of being IN love. Choosing it consciously every day. Working at it. Talking about what you like and don’t like. Listening. Forgiving. Understanding. Standing still. Going crazy. Climbing high. Diving deep. Building empires. Taking down walls. Supporting. Encouraging. Compassion. Honestly. Continue reading “Falling In Love and Being In Love”
You are not an island.
Feeling that way is a choice. A choice that is ultimately yours to make but in the grand scheme of things isn’t going to get you anywhere… besides digging yourself deeper into your own hole.
Open your eyes, I bet there is someone standing nearby who genuinely cares in an unbiased way. Let them see you. Let them come stand next to you. They aren’t there to save you. They aren’t there to judge or have any personal agenda at all actually. In fact, they are probably the one who is not saying much at all right now, just standing there holding space even when you can can’t understand how or why they would even still be there in the first place. Continue reading “You Are Not An Island”
It’s something that was brought to my attention about a year ago. Let go of the “how”. Quit constantly looking for the thing that you’re looking for and instead focus inward, have faith that the universe has your back and be open to receive.
Easy peasy right? Wrong.
It’s been one of the most challenging and multi-layered lessons I’ve learned yet. (And it seems to be the gift that keeps on giving…)
The way it started with me was focusing on one thing I had been wanting to manifest at the time (a man!) and focusing on doing the work, making space for him, visualizing him and our love but then going about my day and not focusing on where he might be, when he might show up, and how it was all going to go down. I struggled with this for a while but when I finally stopped forcing it, he showed up. Like out of nowhere, in a pool with the bluest eye balls I’d ever seen, a voice that changed my life forever, and a soul that mine instantly recognized. A lot of which perfectly matched what I had been wanting to manifest… all of which did not in any way shape or form appear or happen in the way I could have ever imagined that it would. Continue reading “Surrender”
Happiness is a choice.
I say that a lot and people who battle depression and/or anxiety tell me I’m wrong. That the choice of happiness is out of their control. Being someone who deals with anxiety, I understand how much more difficult it is to flip your mindset when these emotions try to take over.
And sometimes it wins. Sometimes you can’t shut it up in time and you go into a spiral of doubt and guilt and questioning everything. Even if you logically know none of what your emotions are telling you is at all truth, it’s still very present and grows almost at a rapid rate.
Continue reading “Anxiety”
I went to catch up with a friend this morning, we met outside of the restaurant and I yelled my normal, “WHAT’S UPPPP!” greeting across the lot. As we were walking in, he replied “Well apparently EVERYTHING. You have a lot to tell me, huh?”
“Yep. All of the things are happening.”
“Like all of the things… at the same time.”
“Ya know, all of the things all in about 5 minutes. Yes. Quick and fast, just how I like it. You know I’m impatient.” I said jokingly.
And as we were seated to enjoy our usual, but massively overdue breakfast date, I went on to tell him about the huge realizations I’ve uncovered recently, the changes in my business structure, the fact that I met a man, fell in love basically instantly, and within days from now will be cohabitating with said man… in a different state.
Continue reading “Patience Has Nothing To Do With It”