Truth is, sometimes I can have the best day ever and still be sad at the end of it all.
Now before you jump to conclusions or start to type out something trying to “make me feel better”, keep reading because that is not at all my point here.
I’m happy. Like genuinely happy. I love what I do. I enjoy my work. I have an awesome family. Good friends. A beautiful home. Sweet puppies… and the list goes on. Continue reading “Sometimes I Am Sad”
*Originally Published July 12, 2019
I took my first business trip when I was 20. I was working for a Risk Management company at the time and the team I was a part of worked for one of the nation’s largest waste management companies. The division I worked for hosted their yearly training in Las Vegas and I was able to go. All expenses paid. It was amazing.
Second time ever being on a plane, first time ever traveling alone. Looking back now I don’t remember having the awareness of how great of an opportunity that was. Continue reading “My First Business Trip”
“What do you do for fun?”
To be honest, that question always throws me. I know it’s one of the go-to’s when people are trying to get to know someone or reconnecting with a lost friend or acquaintance but it’s a question that I tend to normally cringe at. Maybe it’s the dreaded small talk, but maybe it’s not.
I found myself faced with this question recently in an innocent conversation while reconnecting with someone and I thought to myself, “Wait, what DO I do for fun?”
“Do I even have fun?”
As I continued to question myself I thought, “Oh shit… Maybe I don’t actually have fun. What am I doing with myself? Damn, am I this boring person who does nothing?” Continue reading “What Do You Do For Fun?”
I am happy.
In a totally different way than ever before.
For very different reasons.
In some of the same beautiful ways but more so, in brand new, exciting, mindshattering ways.
And apparently THIS (pictured below) is the face of that happiness. It’s what expression I have instantly made in every photo for quite a while now. When I try to smile with my teeth, which is the norm for me and it looks forced and weird and inauthentic right now. I’m not sure how to explain it but that is obviously not the expression of the type of happiness I’m experiencing right now and I am totally okay with that!
This expression is one of exploration. It is one of adventure. It is one of learning. It is one of deeply experiencing something fucking beautiful with zero idea of how to really put said experiences into words just yet.
This expression is perfect for this phase
There is a difference between falling in love and BEING in love.
Falling in love is easy. People do it all the time. Sure, it can be scary sometimes but it’s not a hard thing to do.
But being in love is a totally different animal. I don’t mean the difference between having loving feelings for someone and “being in love”. I’m talking about the day in day out activity of being IN love. Choosing it consciously every day. Working at it. Talking about what you like and don’t like. Listening. Forgiving. Understanding. Standing still. Going crazy. Climbing high. Diving deep. Building empires. Taking down walls. Supporting. Encouraging. Compassion. Honestly. Continue reading “Falling In Love and Being In Love”
You are not an island.
Feeling that way is a choice. A choice that is ultimately yours to make but in the grand scheme of things isn’t going to get you anywhere… besides digging yourself deeper into your own hole.
Open your eyes, I bet there is someone standing nearby who genuinely cares in an unbiased way. Let them see you. Let them come stand next to you. They aren’t there to save you. They aren’t there to judge or have any personal agenda at all actually. In fact, they are probably the one who is not saying much at all right now, just standing there holding space even when you can can’t understand how or why they would even still be there in the first place. Continue reading “You Are Not An Island”