Motivation

Motivation

8 years ago I posted this pic as my motivation. I printed it out and hung it in my house. I tried to create it using what I always thought “working out” meant. None of it worked. I stayed skinny, sometimes toned up my already super thin core but other than that, nothing really changed. I still felt weak and sick most of the time then too.

4 years ago I found myself in constant pain and with zero strength. So I turned to yoga. Using yoga I was able to build a solid core and some lean muscle but more importantly, a mindset around taking control of my body. With the help of the guys at our local S2 I started learning more about being a hard gainer and ways I could combat that. It helped but still, this physique in the photo was no where in sight. Continue reading “Motivation”

Workout Consistency

Workout Consistency

Truth is, I know the right way to stand to look the most flattering in a photo. I know the angles and what works best for my frame. So, when I started taking the daily progress photo for the #75Hard challenge it was a bit off-putting at first.

Like “whoa, that’s not now I look in photos.” Um, actually YES that IS what you look like in photos, without flexing or posing. I can’t wait to post before and afters when this is all said and done but for now, it’s day 7 and I’ve already started to see a difference. Continue reading “Workout Consistency”

Half The Strength

Half The Strength

No one ever talks about how mentally difficult it is when you find yourself back in the gym and only having half the strength you used to.

It’s a serious struggle. In an instant you can find yourself feeling dumb, embarrassed, weak, angry, frustrated.

“How did I let this happen?”

It can be paralyzing if you let it. And honestly, several times lately I have let that voice win. And due to that, I started feeling worse. Continue reading “Half The Strength”

Be Proud of Your Body

Be Proud of Your Body

You’re allowed to be proud of your body.

In fact, you SHOULD be proud of your own body. Especially if it’s something you’ve had to fight to build.

You see, I’ve always been the skinny girl. Like unhealthily skinny. I wasn’t unhappy with the way I looked but I didn’t feel good…ever.

Yep, I was sick almost every day.

And the doctors told me that was just something I would have to deal with… along with an old knee injury that would flare up from time to time and a lower back injury that hurt me everyday.

Just something I would have to live with? I think not. Continue reading “Be Proud of Your Body”

The Gym

The Gym

I remember a time when going to the gym was the last thing I ever wanted to do. When cancelling a training session was always an option when my day was going bad or I wasn’t feeling well.

Oh how things have changed…

Now, the worse the day, the worse I feel, the more I want to be in the gym. The more I want to put my headphones on, stare myself in the face, and prove to myself how strong I really am.

Today I feel like a zombie.
Pouring myself into my clients for over 16 hours this weekend drained me (and lit me up, but energy hangover like whoa).
Continue reading “The Gym”

My Fitness Journey

My Fitness Journey

I will never forget this moment… as silly as it sounds, I gave this pic a double take after I took it and remember thinking to myself “whose body is that?!” I was so fucking proud. I’d worn that dress so many times, it is one of my “go tos” but it didn’t used to fit like that.

It had been a few months since the last time I had pulled it out of the closet and it was a pleasant surprise to see the how it showcased the changes in my body I had been working so hard to build.
Continue reading “My Fitness Journey”

Calluses

Calluses

“Guys don’t like girls with calluses on their hands”.

After posting a photo of the proof on my hands that I lift heavy shit and put in the work on my body, I got a message telling me that men don’t like girls with calluses on their hands.

I sat there for a minute and looked at the message like, “Seriously dude?” and promptly responded something sassy along the lines of “the kind of beasts I date do” and left it at that.

My Goal is to GAIN

My Goal is to GAIN

Every time I weigh in at the gym and the number goes down, I get pissed. No one around me, except my trainer gets it. They all look at me like I’m crazy… Because apparently since I’m a woman, that must mean I only have goals to lose weight and be skinnier.

Nope. Couldn’t be more wrong.

We have worked VERY hard over the past year or so to get a plan in place that keeps me gaining. Because I was too skinny (not a luxury at all, so don’t even say it) I was sick. I wasn’t comfortable in my skin. I was weak. I was unhealthy. It wasn’t a good thing.
Continue reading “My Goal is to GAIN”

Always Sick…

Always Sick…

“Skinny fat”… it’s a thing. It’s a thing no one thinks is a problem… and for some, maybe it’s not…but for me it was a BIG problem.

I was always sick.
I had no energy.
I had zero strength.
I could eat more than most grown men I knew but never gained a pound.

I remember seeing the picture on the left right after it was taken and being embarrassed (see bottom of post). That “skinny minnie” look everyone always said they were so jealous of was NOT how I wanted to look. Not even a little bit… but I didn’t know anything else was possible.

After many years of rapidly losing weight, never feeling good, more doctors appointments than I can count, passing out several times in public because my body shut down, and more hospital stays than I cared to have in a lifetime, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Continue reading “Always Sick…”

Do the Work

Do the Work

It’s Sunday. I’m outta town. Woke up feeling pretty lazy. Last thing I wanted to do was train but I knew I needed to get it in.

I could hear my trainers voice in my head, I could hear that super badass version of myself in my head saying “you want that body”.
Continue reading “Do the Work”