Haunted

Haunted

Originally posted on May 23rd, 2019…

Lately, sometimes, it literally feels like I’m being haunted.

Haunted by the things that happened, haunted by the promises I believed, the future that I so clearly saw. Haunted by the person you once were, the person who surely no longer exists but at one time was the realest soul I’ve ever encountered in this lifetime. Continue reading “Haunted”

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Falling In Love and Being In Love

Falling In Love and Being In Love

There is a difference between falling in love and BEING in love.

Falling in love is easy. People do it all the time. Sure, it can be scary sometimes but it’s not a hard thing to do.

But being in love is a totally different animal. I don’t mean the difference between having loving feelings for someone and “being in love”. I’m talking about the day in day out activity of being IN love. Choosing it consciously every day. Working at it. Talking about what you like and don’t like. Listening. Forgiving. Understanding. Standing still. Going crazy. Climbing high. Diving deep. Building empires. Taking down walls. Supporting. Encouraging. Compassion. Honestly. Continue reading “Falling In Love and Being In Love”

Down 11 Pounds

Down 11 Pounds

First picture, I’m standing at 128 lbs and feeling excellent. I hadn’t been lifting consistency but my nutrition was pretty solid.

Second picture, I’m down 11 lbs… Most of which was probably muscle but that’s just an assumption.

This loss was not on purpose. Not even a little bit! It followed a month long battle with a cold, then influenza mixed with a bunch a stress that ended me up in a pretty ugly bout with my hypoglycemia. I haven’t had an episode that bad in over a year. It took days to recover. I could barely move, let alone stand. It took everything I had to drink water or 3 bites of oatmeal. It was terrible.

I felt lifeless. I was scared. I remember waking up my boyfriend telling him it was worse than I thought and I was scared to go to the hospital. We decided I’d get strict and try to fight it, even if that meant him reminding me to drink pedialyte every hour because it was the last thing I wanted to do.

Do you know what being in that kind of physical state does to your mental state? It makes you think you’re the worst person in the world. It convinces you that you’re a burden on those who love you. It convinces you that it’s all your fault and if you weren’t such a terrible person then you wouldn’t have let your body get to this state in the first place. It makes you feel ashamed for something you truly can’t control. you find yourself apologizing for asking for help even though you really need it. Continue reading “Down 11 Pounds”

Real Change

Real Change

7 years ago I posted the picture on the left as my “goal” physique. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to have curves. I wanted to look that way AND feel healthy.

I had zero idea how to get there.

I would try the regularly suggested methods of eating and all the “fad” ways to get the booty and abs… guess what? None of that worked. And I would go through cycles of consistency, not feel better, not get stronger, and in turn would get discouraged and then give up. Continue reading “Real Change”

PROJECT MANAGING YOUR HEALTH

PROJECT MANAGING YOUR HEALTH

I’m not sure if it’s because we’ve recently had several serious scares with my mom’s health or if I’m attracting more of these kinds of conversations but lately I’ve noticed something among so many people I’ve encountered and it’s quite honestly pissing me off.

Here’s why; Your health isn’t something to fuck around with.

You only get one body. That’s it. There’s no redo. There’s no turning it in for a new model. And while yes, this country especially has been feeding the masses full of false information about health for decades, it’s the age of information and you have all the data you need to turn your health around at your fingertips.

Yes, doctors can be involved, and they can guide you, BUT YOU HAVE CONTROL AS WELL. You have control over the most important parts. Continue reading “PROJECT MANAGING YOUR HEALTH”

I Have Some News

I Have Some News

“I have some news”.

I started a few conversations that way recently and then immediately realized that statement made it sound like I was about to tell someone I was pregnant…

Which I am not so I quickly had to make that point clear which made it a little awkward for a minute but in true Jamie fashion, I like to keep things interesting. Maybe “I made a decision” was a better approach to the news.

No, that sounded weird too. And that’s when I realized that I was spending entirely too much time worrying about telling people something that was MINE. My news. My decision. My excitement. My next step. My latest adventure. Why was I so worried about how to approach this conversation with other people? The words didn’t matter. Continue reading “I Have Some News”

You’re Allowed to Feel Pretty

You’re Allowed to Feel Pretty

NEWSFLASH: You’re allowed to feel pretty and you’re allowed to share a photo of yourself that you like simply because you like it.

It doesn’t have to meet anyone’s standards or fit within the guidelines of what anyone else thinks is appropriate.

It’s your life.
It’s your body.
You can be smart
and strong
and successful
and a massive boss
all while still being sexy
and sassy
and sweet
and inspirational
and motivating
and humble
and confident
and passionate
and calm.

All. At. The. Same. Time.

You don’t have to trade one for the other, EVER. Continue reading “You’re Allowed to Feel Pretty”