Grateful

Grateful

“I am grateful for the courage to fully feel my feelings and to keep being vulnerable through it all.”

I was writing this morning and that came up.

For most of my life I never let myself be vulnerable. I never truly felt my feelings. I hid them in a busy schedule or new project. I pushed them down because God forbid I be “emotional”, the guys best friend girl isn’t emotional, don’t you know that?

I was always told how strong I was. People would always compliment me on my ability to stay strong, move forward, heal after being knocked down in some really ugly ways over the years. So that’s what I became, strong. I became the strong one. The one who didn’t let things get to her. The one who always had everything under control. The one who smiled anyway. Continue reading “Grateful”

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Sometimes I Am Sad

Sometimes I Am Sad

Truth is, sometimes I can have the best day ever and still be sad at the end of it all.

Now before you jump to conclusions or start to type out something trying to “make me feel better”, keep reading because that is not at all my point here.

I’m happy. Like genuinely happy. I love what I do. I enjoy my work. I have an awesome family. Good friends. A beautiful home. Sweet puppies… and the list goes on. Continue reading “Sometimes I Am Sad”

Surrender

Surrender

SURRENDER.
It’s something that was brought to my attention about a year ago. Let go of the “how”. Quit constantly looking for the thing that you’re looking for and instead focus inward, have faith that the universe has your back and be open to receive.

Easy peasy right? Wrong.

It’s been one of the most challenging and multi-layered lessons I’ve learned yet. (And it seems to be the gift that keeps on giving…)

The way it started with me was focusing on one thing I had been wanting to manifest at the time (a man!) and focusing on doing the work, making space for him, visualizing him and our love but then going about my day and not focusing on where he might be, when he might show up, and how it was all going to go down. I struggled with this for a while but when I finally stopped forcing it, he showed up. Like out of nowhere, in a pool with the bluest eye balls I’d ever seen, a voice that changed my life forever, and a soul that mine instantly recognized. A lot of which perfectly matched what I had been wanting to manifest… all of which did not in any way shape or form appear or happen in the way I could have ever imagined that it would. Continue reading “Surrender”

Anxiety

Anxiety

Happiness is a choice.

I say that a lot and people who battle depression and/or anxiety tell me I’m wrong. That the choice of happiness is out of their control. Being someone who deals with anxiety, I understand how much more difficult it is to flip your mindset when these emotions try to take over.

And sometimes it wins. Sometimes you can’t shut it up in time and you go into a spiral of doubt and guilt and questioning everything. Even if you logically know none of what your emotions are telling you is at all truth, it’s still very present and grows almost at a rapid rate.
Continue reading “Anxiety”

Shine Light

Shine Light

I was asked to speak about living intentionally and fitting exercise into your life on a podcast today and I got to share my own fitness journey in the process… SO BLESSED!

It’s amazing to be able to shine light on overall wellness and changing your life. No, I’m not a personal trainer or a nutritionist but I am the other piece of that journey. The mindset, the planning, the focus, the habits, creating all of that takes intention mixed with action and it also just happens to be MY JAM.

The coolest part was sharing my own personal story and being able to shine the light on the other side of the coin as far as body shaming goes. It still remains a subject that is not spoken about enough.

But being recognized for the work I’ve been put in building my body into something that is exactly that; BUILT, strong, and powerful was an incredible honor that is new to me.

It felt good to talk about this topic and was a great reminder that I have literally CREATED THIS LIFE.

Just feeling so freaking blessed today and wanted to share the love out into the world 

You’ll Wish You Had Started Today

You’ll Wish You Had Started Today

Recently I was journaling and reflecting on how a year ago I started a layer. And a year before that I started a different layer. And the year before that… etc.

FOUR YEARS AGO I STARTED.

Four years ago, while sitting on an airplane with a crushed hand, on the way home from a totally VIP rockstar trip to Vegas, I sat there with a pad of paper and an idea. Continue reading “You’ll Wish You Had Started Today”

I am an American

I am an American

Once upon a time I was the girlfriend of a deployed Marine.

It was him. And me. That’s all that mattered in that, to what now feels like such a brief moment in time. In my heart, I knew he needed me, and I fully intended to be there as much as I possibly could as a support system to him.

It was the first time I made friends with women across the country whom I had never met. It was the first time I reached outside of my inner circle for connection and support. No one else got it. Honestly, I didn’t really even talk to the people “closest to me” about it at all. To this day they don’t really know much about that relationship… how deep it was, how it affected me, how it unraveled… Continue reading “I am an American”