Sometimes you have to be your own motivation.
In those moments when you find yourself slipping and it feels like you’ll never get fully back on track I’ve learned that nothing motivates me more than reminding myself where I’ve been and what I’m capable of.
This picture is from last summer. I had built more muscle than I knew was possible and honestly, I felt uncomfortable as fuck about it. I loved the body and curves I built but it was just unlike the shell I had lived in for most of my life so it seriously took some getting used to. Continue reading “Honoring every piece”
Originally posted on May 23rd, 2019…
Lately, sometimes, it literally feels like I’m being haunted.
Haunted by the things that happened, haunted by the promises I believed, the future that I so clearly saw. Haunted by the person you once were, the person who surely no longer exists but at one time was the realest soul I’ve ever encountered in this lifetime. Continue reading “Haunted”
I am happy.
In a totally different way than ever before.
For very different reasons.
In some of the same beautiful ways but more so, in brand new, exciting, mindshattering ways.
And apparently THIS (pictured below) is the face of that happiness. It’s what expression I have instantly made in every photo for quite a while now. When I try to smile with my teeth, which is the norm for me and it looks forced and weird and inauthentic right now. I’m not sure how to explain it but that is obviously not the expression of the type of happiness I’m experiencing right now and I am totally okay with that!
This expression is one of exploration. It is one of adventure. It is one of learning. It is one of deeply experiencing something fucking beautiful with zero idea of how to really put said experiences into words just yet.
This expression is perfect for this phase
There is a difference between falling in love and BEING in love.
Falling in love is easy. People do it all the time. Sure, it can be scary sometimes but it’s not a hard thing to do.
But being in love is a totally different animal. I don’t mean the difference between having loving feelings for someone and “being in love”. I’m talking about the day in day out activity of being IN love. Choosing it consciously every day. Working at it. Talking about what you like and don’t like. Listening. Forgiving. Understanding. Standing still. Going crazy. Climbing high. Diving deep. Building empires. Taking down walls. Supporting. Encouraging. Compassion. Honestly. Continue reading “Falling In Love and Being In Love”
It’s something that was brought to my attention about a year ago. Let go of the “how”. Quit constantly looking for the thing that you’re looking for and instead focus inward, have faith that the universe has your back and be open to receive.
Easy peasy right? Wrong.
It’s been one of the most challenging and multi-layered lessons I’ve learned yet. (And it seems to be the gift that keeps on giving…)
The way it started with me was focusing on one thing I had been wanting to manifest at the time (a man!) and focusing on doing the work, making space for him, visualizing him and our love but then going about my day and not focusing on where he might be, when he might show up, and how it was all going to go down. I struggled with this for a while but when I finally stopped forcing it, he showed up. Like out of nowhere, in a pool with the bluest eye balls I’d ever seen, a voice that changed my life forever, and a soul that mine instantly recognized. A lot of which perfectly matched what I had been wanting to manifest… all of which did not in any way shape or form appear or happen in the way I could have ever imagined that it would. Continue reading “Surrender”
I’ve always believed in love. I’ve always loved with everything I’ve got and even when I was in a bad situation or was single, I was always surrounding myself with as much love as possible. It wasn’t always easy but at the end of the day, it was always something I could count on.
Basically what I’m saying is that love has always been super present in my world and for that, I’m extremely grateful because I believe it makes all the difference in the core part of how you show up every day.
I owe that to my Mama. She is and always has been a massive advocate for the fact that at the end of the day, love wins. Her and my Dad are walking talking real-life examples that love truly can and does conquer all… IF you choose to allow it to guide you and be a part of who you are. And for that, I’m extremely grateful because no matter how terrible a situation has gotten in my life, how wrong I was done, how hateful someone was towards me, at the end of the day that love flame inside of me never went out. It always lit the way. It always kept me warm. It kept me moving forward. Continue reading “Always Believed In Love”
7 years ago I posted the picture on the left as my “goal” physique. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to have curves. I wanted to look that way AND feel healthy.
I had zero idea how to get there.
I would try the regularly suggested methods of eating and all the “fad” ways to get the booty and abs… guess what? None of that worked. And I would go through cycles of consistency, not feel better, not get stronger, and in turn would get discouraged and then give up. Continue reading “Real Change”