Ripple Effect

Ripple Effect

“I’m so happy for you! So many good things are happening in your life right now!”

Last week, I was given this message three times in less than two days and honestly, I was a little taken back by it. They were right, things are starting to fall in place for me in all areas and move forward and are super good but why didn’t I see it?

Well, the truth is, I DID, in fact, see it. I can clearly see the spaces where my work continues to pay off. I can clearly see where the Universe is delivering. I can clearly see where my own healing and release allowed space for more joy to come to me. I can clearly feel the difference.

So why was I so shocked when I heard someone point it out to me?

I’ve been pondering on this for a few days and here’s what I believe to be the case; Continue reading “Ripple Effect”

Security

Security

Security. For a lot of my life it was something I felt I desperately wanted someone else to provide but was always something I was left without every time.

So I shifted. I created patterns and habits to prevent myself from feeling that disappointment or fear. I built walls and towers to stay just far enough away that people didn’t get too close.

I would call before they had the chance to not choose me. I would make the date before anyone had to opportunity to forget or not make it a priority. I would “check in” to try and feel like I was helping but what I was really doing was fulfilling something within myself that needed to feel wanted. A desire that given the previously described habits, I never actually let anyone show up and fulfill for me in the first place. Continue reading “Security”

Solid Foundation

Solid Foundation
This is why you create a solid foundation.
At least it’s a visual reminder as to why.You create a solid foundation so that when life happens and you fall off the track for a bit, everything doesn’t go to shit.

Real talk, my life took a super unexpected and interesting turn over the past 9 months… or year really. I started diving in, DEEP. Unearthing things that I had buried and didn’t acknowledge for years. I cleared so many things mentally and physically it’s almost impossible to even explain. And then I fell in love, listened to a message bigger than me and uprooted my life, moved 600 miles away, created a life there, learned, grew, tried my best, played out some karmic soul contract related shit, learned so many lessons about who I am and how fucking strong I actually am as a human, moved back, and have been hard at work rebuilding every thing I ever knew. Every social contract. Every obligation. Every deeply rooted behavior. Every automatic response. Every way of processing emotions. Every way of existing.
I have spent the past 6 months learning new and healthier ways to navigate every single area of my world. Continue reading “Solid Foundation”

Universal Energy

Universal Energy

Sometimes, I don’t think I can take one more battle. Not one more blow. Not one more explosion.

I stand there in the aftermath of what can only be described as the comet of universal energy doing what is necessary to take me to the other side of everything, to the pure place I’m meant to reside.

And I stand there with the muffled sound of attacks playing in my ears yet again, pure shock of it all. Dissecting why this was brought to my table in the first place. Feeling a bit numb, yet at the same time… feeling every single feeling in the book.

My First Business Trip

My First Business Trip

*Originally Published July 12, 2019

I took my first business trip when I was 20. I was working for a Risk Management company at the time and the team I was a part of worked for one of the nation’s largest waste management companies. The division I worked for hosted their yearly training in Las Vegas and I was able to go. All expenses paid. It was amazing.

Second time ever being on a plane, first time ever traveling alone. Looking back now I don’t remember having the awareness of how great of an opportunity that was. Continue reading “My First Business Trip”

What Do You Do For Fun?

What Do You Do For Fun?

“What do you do for fun?”
To be honest, that question always throws me. I know it’s one of the go-to’s when people are trying to get to know someone or reconnecting with a lost friend or acquaintance but it’s a question that I tend to normally cringe at. Maybe it’s the dreaded small talk, but maybe it’s not.

I found myself faced with this question recently in an innocent conversation while reconnecting with someone and I thought to myself, “Wait, what DO I do for fun?”

“Do I even have fun?”

As I continued to question myself I thought, “Oh shit… Maybe I don’t actually have fun. What am I doing with myself? Damn, am I this boring person who does nothing?” Continue reading “What Do You Do For Fun?”

Honoring every piece

Honoring every piece

Sometimes you have to be your own motivation.

In those moments when you find yourself slipping and it feels like you’ll never get fully back on track I’ve learned that nothing motivates me more than reminding myself where I’ve been and what I’m capable of.

This picture is from last summer. I had built more muscle than I knew was possible and honestly, I felt uncomfortable as fuck about it. I loved the body and curves I built but it was just unlike the shell I had lived in for most of my life so it seriously took some getting used to. Continue reading “Honoring every piece”