You’re Allowed to Feel

You’re Allowed to Feel

She came to me looking for a way to find herself again… perhaps actually find herself for the first time, really.

You see, she was recently retired, her kids were grown and without raising kids and being a boss in her industry she wasn’t really sure what was left for her. Searching for a purpose, we started.

Now the path we went down was deep and personal so I’m not going to share the details BUT I do want to share a moment that stands out to me the most about our work together.

I remember so clearly the day this happened. We had a few weeks of sessions that were really deep, diving into things that have happened and her feelings around it. During those conversations, I worked hard to remind her that she is allowed to have her opinion, allowed to feel the way she did, and it was not right for ANYONE to ever tell her she was wrong for that. Continue reading “You’re Allowed to Feel”

Put The Sword Down

Put The Sword Down

PUT THE SWORD DOWN.

Just because you know how to fight doesn’t mean you have to.

I’ve spent a lot of my life “fighting” to get to the next thing. Fighting to get recognition. Fighting to figure out what is wrong with my body. Fighting to get respect. Fighting to be seen. Fighting to be heard. Fighting to move out of and past old patterns and situations.

About a year ago, I stopped fighting.

I actually thought I had quit battling a long time before that point but in a moment where things had quite literally gone up in flames around me, I was reminded by a friend, “It’s only a battle if you choose for it to be” and in that moment I realized that while yes, I had stopped battling in most capacities, I still was in ways that I didn’t even notice.

So, I put the sword down and started to take another approach. After all, fighting or battling every day is fucking exhausting. Just saying those words brings my energy and vibe down several notches.

Here’s the thing, just because you know how to wield that sword and battle every demon or warrior that comes your way doesn’t mean you HAVE to. It doesn’t mean that has to be what defines you. It doesn’t mean you have to be in that state or operate with that as your desired position or stance to take.

Do you know where true power comes from?
It comes from KNOWING you can fight and then choosing not to because you can SEE past the moment and see the big picture where choosing not to fight is actually what accelerates everything.
It comes from choosing to stand within your own power and take the path of acceptance and learning to work WITH what’s happening, not against it. Continue reading “Put The Sword Down”

2019 Lessons

2019 Lessons

Last year taught me that everything can change in a short period of time.

The day before 2019 started, I was unloading a truck of my stuff in a new state, into a new home, with a new family. Something that I always felt was way bigger than me, something I almost didn’t really have a say in deciding, I was just drawn to it in the most divine way… Continue reading “2019 Lessons”

These Women Are Everywhere

These Women Are Everywhere

“These women are everywhere. They are our neighbors, our friends, our sisters, our co-workers, our cousins. They have no use for our advice or opinions. Their wombs are their own. Let’s respect that.”

If I had a dollar for every time I have been given pity or ignorance for not having kids, I could buy you each a car.

For many years I wasn’t sure if I wanted to have a child. But of course “you’d be a great mom” and “kids create happiness nothing else can” and “you’ll never be fulfilled if you’re not a mom” and “what are you waiting for?” have always been questions and statements pounded down on me… since I was 20 years old.

For years I allowed myself to explore if it was something I wanted or needed. For years I chose adoption as an option because I’m fairly certain my body and its medical condition wouldn’t allow me to grow and birth a child. And honestly, I’ve just never had the desire to be pregnant. This fact in itself has led to more judgement and awkward, hurtful conversations than I care to revisit but it’s the truth. Continue reading “These Women Are Everywhere”

Designing A Life You Love

Designing A Life You Love

*Originally posted October 10th, 2019

“You’re working on the cruise?! Why??”

“Just turn your phone off and enjoy yourself.”

“What if something work related triggers you and ruins your whole day?”

These are all comments I’ve heard over the past couple of days after I last minute jumped on a boat for the next 10 days… First off, yes, I am working in the ship because my life is my work. It doesn’t feel like work most of the time. Sometimes it does but even in those moments,I’ve created this lifestyle so it’s all just a part of how I do life every day. That doesn’t change no matter where I am. And it’s truly a beautiful thing.

When your work lights up your soul and fuels you, it’s not a thing you “have” to do. It’s something you GET to do! Continue reading “Designing A Life You Love”

My First Business Trip

My First Business Trip

*Originally Published July 12, 2019

I took my first business trip when I was 20. I was working for a Risk Management company at the time and the team I was a part of worked for one of the nation’s largest waste management companies. The division I worked for hosted their yearly training in Las Vegas and I was able to go. All expenses paid. It was amazing.

Second time ever being on a plane, first time ever traveling alone. Looking back now I don’t remember having the awareness of how great of an opportunity that was. Continue reading “My First Business Trip”

Haunted

Haunted

Originally posted on May 23rd, 2019…

Lately, sometimes, it literally feels like I’m being haunted.

Haunted by the things that happened, haunted by the promises I believed, the future that I so clearly saw. Haunted by the person you once were, the person who surely no longer exists but at one time was the realest soul I’ve ever encountered in this lifetime. Continue reading “Haunted”

I am Happy

I am happy.

In a totally different way than ever before.

For very different reasons.

In some of the same beautiful ways but more so, in brand new, exciting, mindshattering ways.

And apparently THIS (pictured below) is the face of that happiness. It’s what expression I have instantly made in every photo for quite a while now. When I try to smile with my teeth, which is the norm for me and it looks forced and weird and inauthentic right now. I’m not sure how to explain it but that is obviously not the expression of the type of happiness I’m experiencing right now and I am totally okay with that!

This expression is one of exploration. It is one of adventure. It is one of learning. It is one of deeply experiencing something fucking beautiful with zero idea of how to really put said experiences into words just yet.

This expression is perfect for this phase 

Surrender

Surrender

SURRENDER.
It’s something that was brought to my attention about a year ago. Let go of the “how”. Quit constantly looking for the thing that you’re looking for and instead focus inward, have faith that the universe has your back and be open to receive.

Easy peasy right? Wrong.

It’s been one of the most challenging and multi-layered lessons I’ve learned yet. (And it seems to be the gift that keeps on giving…)

The way it started with me was focusing on one thing I had been wanting to manifest at the time (a man!) and focusing on doing the work, making space for him, visualizing him and our love but then going about my day and not focusing on where he might be, when he might show up, and how it was all going to go down. I struggled with this for a while but when I finally stopped forcing it, he showed up. Like out of nowhere, in a pool with the bluest eye balls I’d ever seen, a voice that changed my life forever, and a soul that mine instantly recognized. A lot of which perfectly matched what I had been wanting to manifest… all of which did not in any way shape or form appear or happen in the way I could have ever imagined that it would. Continue reading “Surrender”

Intuitive Knowing

Intuitive Knowing

Wow. My life is weird…. and I freaking love it.

So I was just looking at the training schedule for my Incubator course that’s currently running (that 3 month pod group I launched a couple months ago) and seeing how the calls will fit around my moving date as it’s quickly approaching and it just hit me….

3 months ago I knew I was looking for something but I didn’t know what it was. I had recently met a man and went from single to in a seriously amazing soul connected relationship in like 5 minutes because well… that’s how I manifested this shit to happen, ask any of my friends. I wanted to skip the dating games and go right for the real time.

That’s what we’ve done and I couldn’t be happier. But the crazy thing is to think that just a few months ago moving to a different state wasn’t even on my radar… not even a little bit. Until in a single moment I just realized that it’s where I needed to be, where I wanted to be, where my soul had been searching for and that was that. Continue reading “Intuitive Knowing”