Haunted

Haunted

Originally posted on May 23rd, 2019…

Lately, sometimes, it literally feels like I’m being haunted.

Haunted by the things that happened, haunted by the promises I believed, the future that I so clearly saw. Haunted by the person you once were, the person who surely no longer exists but at one time was the realest soul I’ve ever encountered in this lifetime. Continue reading “Haunted”

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I am Happy

I am happy.

In a totally different way than ever before.

For very different reasons.

In some of the same beautiful ways but more so, in brand new, exciting, mindshattering ways.

And apparently THIS (pictured below) is the face of that happiness. It’s what expression I have instantly made in every photo for quite a while now. When I try to smile with my teeth, which is the norm for me and it looks forced and weird and inauthentic right now. I’m not sure how to explain it but that is obviously not the expression of the type of happiness I’m experiencing right now and I am totally okay with that!

This expression is one of exploration. It is one of adventure. It is one of learning. It is one of deeply experiencing something fucking beautiful with zero idea of how to really put said experiences into words just yet.

This expression is perfect for this phase 

Surrender

Surrender

SURRENDER.
It’s something that was brought to my attention about a year ago. Let go of the “how”. Quit constantly looking for the thing that you’re looking for and instead focus inward, have faith that the universe has your back and be open to receive.

Easy peasy right? Wrong.

It’s been one of the most challenging and multi-layered lessons I’ve learned yet. (And it seems to be the gift that keeps on giving…)

The way it started with me was focusing on one thing I had been wanting to manifest at the time (a man!) and focusing on doing the work, making space for him, visualizing him and our love but then going about my day and not focusing on where he might be, when he might show up, and how it was all going to go down. I struggled with this for a while but when I finally stopped forcing it, he showed up. Like out of nowhere, in a pool with the bluest eye balls I’d ever seen, a voice that changed my life forever, and a soul that mine instantly recognized. A lot of which perfectly matched what I had been wanting to manifest… all of which did not in any way shape or form appear or happen in the way I could have ever imagined that it would. Continue reading “Surrender”

Intuitive Knowing

Intuitive Knowing

Wow. My life is weird…. and I freaking love it.

So I was just looking at the training schedule for my Incubator course that’s currently running (that 3 month pod group I launched a couple months ago) and seeing how the calls will fit around my moving date as it’s quickly approaching and it just hit me….

3 months ago I knew I was looking for something but I didn’t know what it was. I had recently met a man and went from single to in a seriously amazing soul connected relationship in like 5 minutes because well… that’s how I manifested this shit to happen, ask any of my friends. I wanted to skip the dating games and go right for the real time.

That’s what we’ve done and I couldn’t be happier. But the crazy thing is to think that just a few months ago moving to a different state wasn’t even on my radar… not even a little bit. Until in a single moment I just realized that it’s where I needed to be, where I wanted to be, where my soul had been searching for and that was that. Continue reading “Intuitive Knowing”

Being Vulnerable

Being Vulnerable

It’s okay to let someone take care of you sometimes.

Seems almost silly to even say this out loud, but to all of you crazy independent heretics who are right there with me working daily to take over the world, it’s okay to let someone take care of you now and then.

For my entire adult life I’ve always worked hard to NEVER need anyone. Part of my insane proactive nature is to be super prepared and never need anyone to help me with anything…

This is something I’ve completely flipped and adjusted professionally… Hiring a staff and letting them be there for me is a must and something I’ve always been okay with. BUT in my personal life… Not so much.

I suck at letting anyone see me vulnerable.
Continue reading “Being Vulnerable”

You’re Allowed to Feel Pretty

You’re Allowed to Feel Pretty

NEWSFLASH: You’re allowed to feel pretty and you’re allowed to share a photo of yourself that you like simply because you like it.

It doesn’t have to meet anyone’s standards or fit within the guidelines of what anyone else thinks is appropriate.

It’s your life.
It’s your body.
You can be smart
and strong
and successful
and a massive boss
all while still being sexy
and sassy
and sweet
and inspirational
and motivating
and humble
and confident
and passionate
and calm.

All. At. The. Same. Time.

You don’t have to trade one for the other, EVER. Continue reading “You’re Allowed to Feel Pretty”

True Freedom

True Freedom

Be willing to do the inner work, the deep healing work.

I mean looking under every rock, under every excuse you’ve ever made, under every lie you’ve ever told, under every pattern you’ve ever repeated, on every ounce of self-doubt or fear or negative thought you have about yourself. It means looking under every moment that sticks out to you at all.

It’s listening to your inner voice while being self-aware enough to recognize when your subconscious is trying to battle you with intentions that no longer serve you and then being willing to shine a flashlight into the darkness and uncover why.

It’s not pretty. Continue reading “True Freedom”