Down 11 Pounds

Down 11 Pounds

First picture, I’m standing at 128 lbs and feeling excellent. I hadn’t been lifting consistency but my nutrition was pretty solid.

Second picture, I’m down 11 lbs… Most of which was probably muscle but that’s just an assumption.

This loss was not on purpose. Not even a little bit! It followed a month long battle with a cold, then influenza mixed with a bunch a stress that ended me up in a pretty ugly bout with my hypoglycemia. I haven’t had an episode that bad in over a year. It took days to recover. I could barely move, let alone stand. It took everything I had to drink water or 3 bites of oatmeal. It was terrible.

I felt lifeless. I was scared. I remember waking up my boyfriend telling him it was worse than I thought and I was scared to go to the hospital. We decided I’d get strict and try to fight it, even if that meant him reminding me to drink pedialyte every hour because it was the last thing I wanted to do.

Do you know what being in that kind of physical state does to your mental state? It makes you think you’re the worst person in the world. It convinces you that you’re a burden on those who love you. It convinces you that it’s all your fault and if you weren’t such a terrible person then you wouldn’t have let your body get to this state in the first place. It makes you feel ashamed for something you truly can’t control. you find yourself apologizing for asking for help even though you really need it. Continue reading “Down 11 Pounds”

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Real Change

Real Change

7 years ago I posted the picture on the left as my “goal” physique. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to have curves. I wanted to look that way AND feel healthy.

I had zero idea how to get there.

I would try the regularly suggested methods of eating and all the “fad” ways to get the booty and abs… guess what? None of that worked. And I would go through cycles of consistency, not feel better, not get stronger, and in turn would get discouraged and then give up. Continue reading “Real Change”

PROJECT MANAGING YOUR HEALTH

PROJECT MANAGING YOUR HEALTH

I’m not sure if it’s because we’ve recently had several serious scares with my mom’s health or if I’m attracting more of these kinds of conversations but lately I’ve noticed something among so many people I’ve encountered and it’s quite honestly pissing me off.

Here’s why; Your health isn’t something to fuck around with.

You only get one body. That’s it. There’s no redo. There’s no turning it in for a new model. And while yes, this country especially has been feeding the masses full of false information about health for decades, it’s the age of information and you have all the data you need to turn your health around at your fingertips.

Yes, doctors can be involved, and they can guide you, BUT YOU HAVE CONTROL AS WELL. You have control over the most important parts. Continue reading “PROJECT MANAGING YOUR HEALTH”

Anxiety

Anxiety

Happiness is a choice.

I say that a lot and people who battle depression and/or anxiety tell me I’m wrong. That the choice of happiness is out of their control. Being someone who deals with anxiety, I understand how much more difficult it is to flip your mindset when these emotions try to take over.

And sometimes it wins. Sometimes you can’t shut it up in time and you go into a spiral of doubt and guilt and questioning everything. Even if you logically know none of what your emotions are telling you is at all truth, it’s still very present and grows almost at a rapid rate.
Continue reading “Anxiety”

True Freedom

True Freedom

Be willing to do the inner work, the deep healing work.

I mean looking under every rock, under every excuse you’ve ever made, under every lie you’ve ever told, under every pattern you’ve ever repeated, on every ounce of self-doubt or fear or negative thought you have about yourself. It means looking under every moment that sticks out to you at all.

It’s listening to your inner voice while being self-aware enough to recognize when your subconscious is trying to battle you with intentions that no longer serve you and then being willing to shine a flashlight into the darkness and uncover why.

It’s not pretty. Continue reading “True Freedom”

Be Proud of Your Body

Be Proud of Your Body

You’re allowed to be proud of your body.

In fact, you SHOULD be proud of your own body. Especially if it’s something you’ve had to fight to build.

You see, I’ve always been the skinny girl. Like unhealthily skinny. I wasn’t unhappy with the way I looked but I didn’t feel good…ever.

Yep, I was sick almost every day.

And the doctors told me that was just something I would have to deal with… along with an old knee injury that would flare up from time to time and a lower back injury that hurt me everyday.

Just something I would have to live with? I think not. Continue reading “Be Proud of Your Body”