You are not an island.
Feeling that way is a choice. A choice that is ultimately yours to make but in the grand scheme of things isn’t going to get you anywhere… besides digging yourself deeper into your own hole.
Open your eyes, I bet there is someone standing nearby who genuinely cares in an unbiased way. Let them see you. Let them come stand next to you. They aren’t there to save you. They aren’t there to judge or have any personal agenda at all actually. In fact, they are probably the one who is not saying much at all right now, just standing there holding space even when you can can’t understand how or why they would even still be there in the first place. Continue reading “You Are Not An Island”
It’s something that was brought to my attention about a year ago. Let go of the “how”. Quit constantly looking for the thing that you’re looking for and instead focus inward, have faith that the universe has your back and be open to receive.
Easy peasy right? Wrong.
It’s been one of the most challenging and multi-layered lessons I’ve learned yet. (And it seems to be the gift that keeps on giving…)
The way it started with me was focusing on one thing I had been wanting to manifest at the time (a man!) and focusing on doing the work, making space for him, visualizing him and our love but then going about my day and not focusing on where he might be, when he might show up, and how it was all going to go down. I struggled with this for a while but when I finally stopped forcing it, he showed up. Like out of nowhere, in a pool with the bluest eye balls I’d ever seen, a voice that changed my life forever, and a soul that mine instantly recognized. A lot of which perfectly matched what I had been wanting to manifest… all of which did not in any way shape or form appear or happen in the way I could have ever imagined that it would. Continue reading “Surrender”
“Stop existing and Start living”.
I just saw this and it stopped me dead in my tracks. Think about that for a minute…
Are you existing? Or Are you living?
EXISTING would probably go something like this: dreading waking up each morning, rushing through your morning to go to a job or into a task you’re not super crazy about, driving to that place and not even remembering the drive at all and not looking forward to all you HAVE to do today. Sometimes not wanting to get out of bed at all. Maybe not feeling super thrilled about the clothes you just threw on during that rushed morning so you don’t particularly feel super awesome. Avoiding conversations. Eating whatever is available at the time or forgetting to eat at all. Looking forward to ‘quitting time’. Not feeling excited about anything you’re doing all day. You’re just kind of “going through the motions”… or something along those lines. Continue reading “Are You Existing? Or Are You Living?”
First picture, I’m standing at 128 lbs and feeling excellent. I hadn’t been lifting consistency but my nutrition was pretty solid.
Second picture, I’m down 11 lbs… Most of which was probably muscle but that’s just an assumption.
This loss was not on purpose. Not even a little bit! It followed a month long battle with a cold, then influenza mixed with a bunch a stress that ended me up in a pretty ugly bout with my hypoglycemia. I haven’t had an episode that bad in over a year. It took days to recover. I could barely move, let alone stand. It took everything I had to drink water or 3 bites of oatmeal. It was terrible.
I felt lifeless. I was scared. I remember waking up my boyfriend telling him it was worse than I thought and I was scared to go to the hospital. We decided I’d get strict and try to fight it, even if that meant him reminding me to drink pedialyte every hour because it was the last thing I wanted to do.
Do you know what being in that kind of physical state does to your mental state? It makes you think you’re the worst person in the world. It convinces you that you’re a burden on those who love you. It convinces you that it’s all your fault and if you weren’t such a terrible person then you wouldn’t have let your body get to this state in the first place. It makes you feel ashamed for something you truly can’t control. you find yourself apologizing for asking for help even though you really need it. Continue reading “Down 11 Pounds”