Once upon a time, I made a choice to not talk about my relationship publicly as I was starting to grow my business online and here’s why;

Because I refused to use his name and status in this city as a means to get business.

Yep. I knew that he had hundreds of connections with the business community that could have benefited from my services and expertise and he would have GLADLY made the introductions but I didn’t want to be hired simply because I was “Tony Twist’s Girlfriend”. So, while the fact that we were in a relationship was in no way a secret, I chose not to exploit it because it was very important to me that I built my business and clientele based on MY own reputation and MY own ability. Not to mention that contrary to popular assumptions, I could care less about his hockey history. That’s never been a part of our relationship.

Flash forward 5 years or so and I just heard about someone still claiming that “He funds her life”.

Okay. I get that when I left my old job and didn’t get a new one and started basically braving the fucking wilderness in order to create an income and business that could support myself in a completely unconventional way that most of the people who looked on believed that he was financially supporting me completely.

Little did I know that some of those same people STILL think that is the case.

Here’s what none of them saw when I first left my old job;
I collected unemployment until it was cut off.
I worked odd jobs for cash, helping people organize their closets or offices or paperwork.
I sold everything I didn’t need or use anymore to make cash.
I spent my entire savings account to cover bills.
I maxed out 3 credit cards to pay expenses.
I worked in the office at a restoration shop during the day for several months.
I built websites for people and managed their online presence for a few hundred bucks here and there as the opportunity presented itself.
All while BUILDING MY BUSINESS in every spare moment I had. I did what I had to do to make it work. And I didn’t boast about it or publicly declare it to these on-lookers because well, I wasn’t aware that it was their business or they would be so interested in the first place.

Another fun fact that people fail to realize;
I literally could have grown my biz 4 times faster if I would have allowed him to make those introductions I mentioned before. He offered but it didn’t feel right to me. I didn’t want to “use” that route.

I could have saved several thousand dollars a month if I would have left my house and moved back into his, but I chose not to.

These were all very intentional decisions that I made as an individual and that I discussed in detail with him at the time as he was my partner in life.

Ya know what he did instead of throwing piles of money at me?
He listened to me talk about every idea.
He listened to me explain every breakthrough, every item my coach and I discussed that week on our call. He looked at marketing plans, read blog posts, and listened to me talk through funnels, websites, and ads because I needed a sounding board.

He researched top earners in the coaching world and started educating himself on what they were doing so when I talked about funnels, ad spend, and evergreen products he actually understood the significance of those things. He encouraged me to keep going when I was so broken down that I never thought I would succeed. He believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself at all.

Because THAT is what partners do. And no matter what people choose to see when they looked at us, that is what we were; true examples of what it means to be a Partner.

So today when I was once again met with the assumption that some people continue to talk about how apparently Tony is still funding my life I have to admit that I was a little dumbfounded. I thought; Seriously? After all of these years, people still think that? Let alone are talking about it?

WOW! <Insert the largest eye roll ever here>

It’s funny how long you can take up real estate in someone’s mind when you choose to live in a way that they can’t comprehend, isn’t it?

Moral of the story friends: Don’t assume you know shit about shit without asking the source or looking behind the curtain yourself.

Remember that people who are not willing to make the big moves, take the big risks, do the things that are scary can’t even begin to comprehend the way that those of us who DO step into the arena every day and brave the wilderness choose to live. They’ll never get it. They’ll always try to “explain” it with some surface-level or low vibe shit… LET THEM. No matter how transparent you are in your life some people will always see whatever it is that they want to see anyway. They can only meet you as deeply as they’ve chosen to go in their own lives. You’ll never be able to control their reactions, so Leave. It. Be. and just do you.

Don’t lose sleep over it because the people who actually understand success and the road it takes to build it WILL see the truth without an ounce of judgment or need to tear you down. And those are the people you want in your circle anyway.

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