*Originally posted September 30th, 2019
My beautiful friend Samantha called me yesterday morning while I was in the middle of a battle with my depression, I wanted to crawl back into bed and hide from the world. I was talking myself through every step.
I ate breakfast and took care of Bonnie. Win.
I showered. Win.
Sat there for like 20 minutes in a towel contemplating getting back under the covers.
Got up and dried my hair instead. Win.
Then I started pacing… I was so mad that I was in this fog. Annoyed to have to deal with it.
Feeling defeated at the thought of having to pull myself out of it… AGAIN. Debating going backwards on some relationship behaviors I’ve been working months to overcome because, well it felt like a quick fix.
Then Samantha called.
I had called her a few hours ago as I felt this all weighing down on me and left a message “it’s heavy today, call me when you can”.
A message that was hard to send but I’ve learned to reach out when I’m drowning. I don’t always listen to that advice but today I did.
Luckily had yet to put my makeup on because I answered the phone feeling okay but the moment she asked what was going on? Queue tears.
You see, she’s been through this. She knows what it’s like to feel like two people sometimes. So she’s my first call.
She asked if I wanted to go with her to return some things to the mall… last thing I WANTED to do but when you’re actively battling a bout with depression, you know the best thing you can do is get out of the house.
Less than 5 minutes later, we switched the conversation to advice about boob jobs (a topic I’m super educated on and love talking about).
We spent the rest of the day aimlessly walking through the mall. No agenda except to fill our cups. Random conversation, lots of fun interactions with people, snacks, lots of walking, and even found some perfectly necessary articles of clothing that we both just couldn’t live without.
Moral of the story?
Action is what combats depression better than anything else.
Celebrating the small wins, no matter how small they may be.
Let yourself be loved on. When someone who cares about you offers to love you and hold space for you LET THEM.
And never underestimate the power of some new lounge clothes.