Sometimes, I don’t think I can take one more battle. Not one more blow. Not one more explosion.
I stand there in the aftermath of what can only be described as the comet of universal energy doing what is necessary to take me to the other side of everything, to the pure place I’m meant to reside.
And I stand there with the muffled sound of attacks playing in my ears yet again, pure shock of it all. Dissecting why this was brought to my table in the first place. Feeling a bit numb, yet at the same time… feeling every single feeling in the book.
“Surely this has got to be it!”
“Haven’t I been through enough of this shit?”
I think to myself, then say out loud, looking up, as if I’m going to get an immediate response.And then in the next breath I remember…
I trust all of this.
I know that I can only control myself, my own reactions, my own energy, and my own intentions.Next thought, I am proud of how I stand in the face of what is clearly other people working out their own shit near me, or at me and I remind myself who I am, what I am.
I am calm.
I am passionate.
I articulate my feelings, reactions, responses in a way that is clear, brave, and vulnerable.
I am collected when everyone else is enraged.
Most importantly, I am fueled by only pure love, light, compassion, and integrity.
And I cannot control who is willing to see that and who isn’t. I cannot control who embraces my essence and who is enraged by it.
All I can control is me.
“This is all unfair” comes to mind. And maybe it is. Or maybe, just maybe it is exactly what needed to transpire. To continue to clear space and elevate me even more. I did ask for all truth to be revealed, after all.
So through the smoke and shadows of the battle, one that I did not invite or invoke… I stand tall, seemingly unscathed. And I turn and walk away knowing with everything inside of me that this is all happening for a reason and I must trust that.
As the dust settles, the truth will be revealed… it always is.
Until then, I take care of me. I keep shining. I stay humble. I stay true. I honor myself and my feelings without seeking any external validation. Because that’s Goddesses do.