I felt like shit about myself earlier. Questioning my appearance. Pissed that I lost 2 inches in my thighs and 1.5 in my hips. I felt gross and annoyed and just ugh.
Pushed to go to the gym anyway. Sort of in a fog the entire time but intentionally focusing on the detail of every move I made, every set, every muscle engagement. That’s what pushed me through and the whole time I kept feeling like I wasn’t doing enough.
Like what in the actual fuck is that? I just did the same workout I did on leg day for 2 years to build that size to begin with. That’s a savage workout.
You see what your brain can do if you’re not careful?!
Luckily I caught all those moments and stopped them. The reason I’m writing this is because I was legit dripping in sweat when I walked out of the gym but I waited until I got into the car to take off my shirt.
Because I don’t want other peoples opinions?
No. Because for a hot minute I questioned myself. For a hot minute I allowed myself to justify my own behavior, blaming it on caring what other people think, which is fucked up in the first place but the truth is, it’s because I care what I think, what that voice in my head was saying in a low moment.
One moment and it almost won.
I just sat here in my Jeep, took this picture, and broke that shit off.
I look great.
I have a great body.
I built a physique I didn’t know was possible.
It doesn’t have to be “my best” in order to be something I’m fucking PROUD OF, something I love and honor.
My point here, quit fucking yourself over with your own thoughts and your own negative opinions.
Honor where you’re at and what got you there.
Love where you’re at. Then strive to get to the next level, if you choose. But it MUST start with being real with where you’re at right now and loving yourself through it.
Because getting down on yourself isn’t going to help a damn thing.
Be your own motivation.
You got this.
P.s. I’m not sure if this will even make any sense to anyone else, but I trust it will reach whomever needs it today.