I’ve never been really good at asking for help. Even when I’m paying a Coach, it’s not been unheard of for them to have to remind me to reach out when I need an ear.
Sometimes I’m really great at it and sometimes I’m not. It’s something I have to remind myself that it’s okay to do. Because you see, at a young age when I found myself in certain situations I just started handling them myself, keeping it all inside, and manning up like a good little soldier but as I’ve grown and expanded I’ve learned that is not at all how I want to operate. It doesn’t allow me to have the life, freedom, and feelings that I want.
So, I started actively working on that a few years ago and in the process I built up a pretty cool circle of support, people outside of my normal “friends circle”. People who know more than me or had more experience, different experiences or expertise, people who could offer me a non judgmental ear and someone to share triumphs, weaknesses, and all of the in-betweens with. But over the last few months I slowly started to revert back, back to not asking, not confiding in my inner circle and instead I was handling it all in my own head, in my own journal, and unfortunately projecting a lot of it at my partner because well, he was only my support system here.
unbeknownst to myself, I had allowed myself to become too dependent on him, too dependent on myself and was almost scared to reach back out to my circle. Like I was shameful of going silent or something. Things were foggy but I was handling life. People kept saying, ” You’re doing great”, “You’re killing it at life.” And in some ways I definitely was but I had let go of my most important piece… me.
Now I’m going a little off context here and I’ll fill you in on other realizations later but back to my inner circle. Over the past couple if weeks I let those walls back down. I surrendered and asked for help. And guess what I’ve been greeted with?
No judgement. But love, compassion, understanding, truth, light and holding space. I’m honestly just so grateful for these amazing souls who give of themselves to me in such a pure loving way. Having someone truly hold space for you is a magical thing and it’s something you need to allow because it’s something that allows you to express yourself and be the best version of you on all levels.
Having a sounding board that’s not actively inside the situation everyday is priceless. And you’re doing yourself and everyone you’re connected to a disservice if you don’t allow yourself to have someone you can talk to. Someone outside of your partner or mom or bff from high school.
I’m not saying hire me, but find a coach, find a teacher, find a counselor, find a friend who’s a coach and is willing to be that person for you, a psychiatrist, a psychic, a shaman, someone because I promise you, you need to open up and allow those relationships to be an active part of your life. Allow someone to hold space for you so you can hold space for others.
It’s not your partners job to heal you, it’s yours. It’s not your moms job to heal you, it’s yours. It’s not your best friends job to heal you, it’s yours.
And let’s be honest, it’s not fair to ask them to try.
Open up to the possibility of finding these people and the right people will show up. Trust me, the universe has your back and once you’re open to it, they will appear and you’ll be so glad that they did.