I’ve always believed in love. I’ve always loved with everything I’ve got and even when I was in a bad situation or was single, I was always surrounding myself with as much love as possible. It wasn’t always easy but at the end of the day, it was always something I could count on.
Basically what I’m saying is that love has always been super present in my world and for that, I’m extremely grateful because I believe it makes all the difference in the core part of how you show up every day.
I owe that to my Mama. She is and always has been a massive advocate for the fact that at the end of the day, love wins. Her and my Dad are walking talking real-life examples that love truly can and does conquer all… IF you choose to allow it to guide you and be a part of who you are. And for that, I’m extremely grateful because no matter how terrible a situation has gotten in my life, how wrong I was done, how hateful someone was towards me, at the end of the day that love flame inside of me never went out. It always lit the way. It always kept me warm. It kept me moving forward.
Now don’t get me wrong, over the years I’ve had to learn how to love without letting it ruin me or drain every ounce of energy within my being…that is not something anyone taught me but time. And it’s still something I work at every day because it’s so natural for me to give all of myself to someone else, everyone else simply because I know how much it can help them or comfort them or make their life easier and while it is rewarding and serves me in many ways to love as big as I do, it can also be my demise if I’m not careful.
Balancing that act is something I check in with myself on daily because I know for a fact that my light is so much brighter and my love is so much more powerful when I love myself first. When I am able to show up as my best self.
Lately, I find myself sitting here reflecting on my current reality and almost wanting to pinch myself because it doesn’t feel real. I regularly have to remind myself that this actually IS my life and yes, it’s that beautiful. Being someone who’s always been able to keep love predominate in her life no matter what, it’s mind-boggling to me that I feel THIS much love every single day now. Like I didn’t know it was possible at the level.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been happy in relationships before guys. I’ve been treated well, super loved, and really happy actually but this is just so different. It’s indescribable really. It’s the kind of shit I always dreamed about, desired, and really really hoped existed even though, let’s be real… there was always a little piece of me that thought I was just being a fairy tale princess in that way of thinking and there was no way it could actually exist. I’m sure some of you know what I’m talking about, like you keep the dream alive in your mind because it gives you something to hold on to, something to stay inspired to reach even if you don’t fully believe it’s really possible.
Welp, let me tell you that it CAN exist. It DOES exist. And you can create it, you just have to keep believing that it’s possible and not settling for less.
Don’t let the darkness of the world stop you from believing. Don’t let it cause you to settle. Trust me when I say that I have never felt love like this before and I am beyond freaking grateful to get to share this life with someone who my soul has obviously known longer than I have.
Keep the faith ya’ll. It’s out there. But when you find it, don’t run…because you might instinctively do that. Because self-sabotage is our MO a lot of the time. Especially when it’s scary. And yes, good, magical things can be scary too. So stay present, really freaking self-aware, and let your intuition guide you. When it’s right, you’ll know. I promise