You can be sexy AND smart AND interesting AND sought after without being a chameleon.

I watch so many women mold to what they “think” a guy wants them to be and it kills me that people think this is the way to find happiness.

Ladies— I hate to break it to you but you can’t keep up the charade forever. Eventually, you’ll start being who you really are under the mask and pretend hobbies and fake interests and then your man will look at you like “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?”

Things will then get ugly, hearts will be broken, and you’ll find yourself in the same cycle yet again that you were in before. Crying to your friends wondering “What did I do wrong?”

Don’t you see how to avoid this?

This isn’t kindergarten. The boy’s not going to look past you because you don’t like monster trucks or his favorite sports team. BE YOU.

People like unique, that’s the coolest part!
We like interesting. We like REAL. We like diversity.

Molding to be someone’s “perfect” girl is going to be a short-lived happiness for you. I promise. And quite honestly, it’s fucking wrong. It’s lying.

It’s wrong to mislead people like that.
It’s wrong to then set the “standard” for what people expect women to do by playing those games.
It’s wrong to hold yourself back from being who you really are.
And it’s wrong to do this and give women who are really being REAL a bad wrap because men now expect women to instantly be full of shit and think “there’s no way she’s really that cool” because they’ve been fooled before.

It’s scary, I know…. Showing someone who you really are isn’t easy. Pulling back the layers and showing them what you stand for, who you are, what you like, what you don’t like, where you come from, and what brought you to this exact place in your life RIGHT this moment, is scary. It’s vulnerable. It’s uncomfortable. It’s also liberating.

But guess what? THAT is what builds lasting relationships. THAT is what will bond you and a partner. THAT is what someone will see and fall deeply in love with.

THAT is what you are looking for. Trust me.

Stop hiding.
Stop conforming.
Stop pretending.
And maybe, just maybe you’ll get out of your own way and actually find real happiness.


Uncovering patterns isn’t always an easy thing to do alone. It takes a whole different level of raw and honest. Sometimes it takes having an outside perspective to help you not only to see to the root of a pattern or the part you play in some situations but how to create change so you can stop re-living the same situation over and over again.

That’s another way having a coach in your corner can help you. That’s what I do for my clients. I help them uncover the patterns and put in action in place in order to prevent repeating them. Because if you want a different result, you have to take a different action and the truth is… that’s not always easy to do.

This post isn’t just relevant for women either, men do the same thing. We both have this bad habit tucked down in our subconscious until we CHOOSE to look it in the face and make the change.

And sometimes it just takes building up some confidence and belief in yourself too. In order to put yourself out there and show people who you really are, you have to believe in yourself first. Through daily shifts and specific mindset work, this change is something very possible to create for anyone. You just have to choose to make it a priority.

Sound like something you know you need in your life? E-mail me at me@jamiethurber.com and let’s discuss further. There’s no time like the present to start shifting your life into exactly what you want it to be.

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