“A lack of planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on mine.”
^This was one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned over the years.
In my world, everything is intentional. I’m extremely “buttoned up” by nature. That doesn’t mean things are perfect, because they’re not. But it does mean that whatever is on my plate is always being handled and it’s always clear.
That’s always been a natural thing for me. But I used to let other people cause me to panic. Or question that. A lot.
Because they didn’t pay attention to the details I provided. Or didn’t ask the questions. Or simply didn’t prepare at all in their own world so they would bring their ball of chaos to my table and expect me to sort it out. And I always did…at the expense of my own sanity and self-worth.
I would rush and not sleep and basically kill my inner confidence all while creating a little fire of emergency in my world simply because I allowed someone else’s lack of planning or attention to alter my state and cause me to question my abilities.
I can’t even begin to explain how destructive that can be to the subconscious and personal confidence in their own expertise.
But we do it. A lot of us allow this to be a normal transaction in our own worlds. Especially if you’re like me and you’re naturally a “fixer”.
It’s in your nature to jump in head first and try to fix it all. Sort the mess. Organize the chaos and kill a little piece of yourself in the process.
But you shouldn’t.
It’s not the proper response.
It’s not sustainable.
And it teaches people that it’s okay for them to treat you that way because you always clean it up.
I want to tell you that even if you have an excellent talent or unique skill, that doesn’t mean you jump into a state of emergency for someone else. That’s not the way to use your skill. That’s simply a choice to respect someone else’s time and sanity over your own. And it’s a choice you should quit making right away.
You need to own your expertise. What you’re good at. What your provide. The VALUE you give. Own that. Know that it’s part of your super power and it deserves respect.
That expertise is not something to be taken lightly. It’s a tool you can use in a constructive way to truly help people.
Another thing you have to start doing right now is putting value on YOUR TIME.
It’s yours and it’s important.
No one else’s time is more or less important.
But to you, your time should always always rank.
When you start practicing these 2 main things every day, in every situation that is brought to your table, that’s when the power shifts. When the calm is your norm and the chaos only exists if you allow it to.
It’s really all a choice of what you allow. And I’m here to tell you that choosing to never allow someone else’s lack of planning to create an emergency in your own precious world SHOULD be high on your list of things to shift.
You deserve it and only you can give it to you.