I am truly grateful for this life. For the ups and downs. For the joy and confusion. For the light and the dark. For the lessons and the struggles. For the highest of highs and for the lowest of lows.
When the fog sets in, I don’t get mad. I look around. I look within. I look deep. It forces you to have to look harder to see what is really going on. The fog is a sign that you need to look harder. That maybe you need to stand in that same spot for a bit in order to truly absorb what you’re meant to.
Too many people see the fog and get angry or depressed or let it bring them down, and that makes me sad because that means they are missing the entire point. They are missing the sign. They aren’t taking advantage of the opportunity to discover that is being presented to them. Because you see, everything that happens to us happens FOR us. It’s all presented when we need it most. It’s all put in front of us because we need it. It all has a purpose and it’s up to you to act on it.
People are given gifts from the universe every day that they don’t even see. That they never acknowledge, so the lesson is never learned, the new level is never reached and sadly, the gift fades when not taken advantage of. Just because so many people walk around with blinders on and ever actually see any of it.
Lately, I’ve been in a funk. Well, funk might not be the word for it. I’m not depressed. I’m not sad. I’m not stressed. I’m not lost. I’m just not where I want to be mentally and my normal “go-to’s” that snap me out of this sort of feeling haven’t been working. So I’ve waited it out. I’ve pushed through it. I’ve worked in spite of it. I’ve released. I’ve cleared. I’ve done everything I can think of but I still feel like I’m standing at a crossroads, a crossroads I’ve been approaching for about a year now. One that isn’t clear. It’s foggy. And my heart and soul keep whispering to me “go”.
I ignored that whisper for a while but now it’s screaming. It’s screaming at the top of it’s lungs “GO!”
So I listened to my intuition. I found the perfect town and the perfect place to gain a little solitude. The place matches exactly what I’ve been seeing in my mind. It matches exactly what I’ve been longing for. So this weekend I’m driving 9 hours by myself to a cabin in the mountains by myself to spend some time getting MORE clarity. To spend 9 days with myself. To spend some time getting silent. To clear the noise. To fully embrace the fog and see what I can find in the midst of it all.
Because I refuse to ignore the pull I have towards this life. And lately that pull has been stronger than ever but for the first time in a long time, it’s not been clear. I am at the brink of a new level. I can feel it in my bones and I’m done standing here looking around at how, why, what, when.
The universe responds to action. You can ask for whatever you want but if you don’t clear the space for it, you’ll never receive it. If you don’t open up to actually RECEIVE you never will.
I feel like I’m standing in my own way right now. There is something that is blocking me and it’s ME. I’ve allowed other people into my space and honestly, some of them are blocking my doorways and I don’t know why I’ve allowed it. So I’m going to figure it out. I’m stepping back, stepping away, stepping deeper into it all and will look that shit in the face, dissect it and figure it out.
I don’t really know how to describe what this trip means to me or what I am feeling so I hope some of this is at least making a little bit of sense to you. Soul searching? Mental health retreat? I don’t really know and it really doesn’t matter what I call it, it’s what I need and honestly, since I booked it I’ve just been so calm and READY.
Every trip I’ve made over the past three years has blasted me into a new level of knowing, a new level of business, a new, deeper level of connection. And while each of those trips helped me, they weren’t taken FOR me. They were always for another purpose. Not this one. This one is for me and me only. I’ve been toying with this next level for a while now but I know in my bones that this next week will be life changing and I’m so grateful. I’m so grateful for the clarity to not only acknowledge that but also to be connected with my purpose enough to be able to guide myself through this journey.
So stay tuned my friends. Mountains. Waterfalls. Hiking. Small town. Log cabin. Jacuzzi tub. Fireplace. Solitude. Sunrises. Sunsets. Writing. Creating. And doing whatever the flow calls me to do. I haven’t decided if I’m going to film the trip and take you along for the ride or if I will keep it all to myself, I plan on following my gut when it comes to that. But I will keep you posted.
Why am I telling you this? Because I want you to know that it’s okay to choose yourself. In fact, you should choose yourself more than you choose anything else because the most valuable relationship you have in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. So while it may seem weird or scary to some that I’m taking this solo trip, to people who actually “get it” they will respect it and maybe to some of you that have thought about doing this, maybe this will give you some encouragement to do this for yourself as well.