I was 24 before I was ever taken on a real date.
Like the guy had it planned, picked me up at my house and took me out sort of date.
I had my first “official” boyfriend when I was 16, so that’s almost 10 years before meeting someone who was actually a gentleman and planned a date.
I’m not talking shit about the guys I dated before, that’s not my point here.
You see, I come from the era of “You wanna hang out?” being what asking someone out was.
Do you want to “HANG OUT”? What does that even mean? Seems like no one really knew. There was never a plan. It was always awkward or we just ended up on each other couches making out and watching movies.
There was no actual “dating” involved.
I remember when I first started dating Tony, this SHOCKED him. The first time we went out, I wouldn’t let him pick me up. I made him meet me at my work because I was living back with my parents for a small stint and was embarrassed.
But he picked me up from my work, had a cooler full of drink choices and snacks because we had a little drive ahead of us and was totally prepared.
He opened every door. He planned things (at the beginning). He courted me like every girl should be courted.
Now, maybe it’s because he comes from a different generation, I don’t know (he’s 19 years older than me for those of you who don’t know) but I will say, it was something I had to get used to. Being actually “dated” like that. It was an adjustment for sure.
I was just sitting here thinking about the whole dating concept and looking back at my own experiences and must say that it’s a weird thing to think about.
Lots of questions come up for me… did I just not make other people date me? did I just make it too easy for them to spend time with me?
But wait, should you really have to “make” someone date you? No, I don’t think you should.
You should be OPEN to it and not just be a closed off, hard to communicate with biotch, but you shouldn’t have to make someone want to date you.
I think if a man is interested, like really interested in getting to know you and they have the right intentions then they will make a point to see you. They will approach you. They will make the plans. They will ask you out on dates.
So yes, even being in a relationship for over 4 years, I was “hit on” or asked out but it was still always “do you wanna hang out?” and every time I hear that I instantly roll my eyes.
I’ve had this conversation with so many of my female friends and this happens to them all the time too. A lot of them agree to hang out just because there aren’t any other options presented to them. How is that even a thing? Really?
Guys– Let’s get one thing clear; A grown ass woman isn’t interested in just “hanging out” with you. We’re not in high school or 21 years old at this point.
Level up your game. You can’t really expect her to move her schedule around to make time to “hang out” with your half-assed request.
She wants you to say, “Hey are you free Wednesday night? I’d like you take you to dinner” Or something along those lines.
Man up. For real. It’s literally ridiculous.
And Ladies, you must set a standard and respect yourself and your time. There is nothing wrong with expecting a guy who says he wants to spend time with you to plan a DATE.
I’m not saying that women can’t plan dates too or ask guys out, because yes…this can obviously go both ways. But either way, I think you catch my drift. ❤