I was worried all day. I planned as much as I could because I thought that might help.
I puke all of my guts up in the car before we even go in.
I was going to pass out. I knew it.
I was nervous. I know what my body does when the adrenaline starts pumping and it’s mixed with nerves, it goes into fight or flight mode and I pass out. Every time. For over 20 years, this was my normal. This was what always happened. So, of course, this instance would be no different. As much as I kept trying to re-frame my mind, I was sure of it.
But I walked in. Signed all the paperwork and sat down. Fully prepared for the fact that I was probably going to lose consciousness once that needle touched my arm. But I did it anyway.
Why? Because things are shifting in my world, BIG TIME and what better time to get something so iconic to my mission permanently branded to my body, than now?
You see, I had scheduled this appointment over 3 months ago. The plan was set, the design ready. But that was before things really shifted as recent turn of events have been in my life.
That was before I took yet another dive into the deepness and brilliance of my reason for everything that I do, into being even more connected to my purpose.
Remember, the universe is always conspiring.
Even though I was scared and physically felt like shit, I went to the appointment. Because I have 100% faith that I am standing at a very pivotal point in my existence and I refuse to ignore any signs that come my way.
I went in, met the guy who was about to torture me for the next couple of hours and it was almost instantly after meeting him and experiencing his insanely chill energy, that I felt a weight lift off my shoulders.
We sized up my tiny little arm, made sure the placement was what I wanted and he started doing his thing.
It hurt. I’m not going to say it didn’t.
But the moment I started to think about the pain, I took my mind elsewhere. I put my favorite punk playlist on, turned up the volume, and tapped my finger along to the beat, staring at the painting on the wall.
My anxiety disappeared.
The painting of the snake wrapped up with an eagle and an arrow piercing both of them was all I could think about it. That and the fact that I WAS IN CONTROL.
I controlled my body’s natural reaction to situations like this by controlling my thoughts, by controlling my mindset.
As soon as I realized I was able to do it for 15 minutes, I knew I could do it for the remainder of the time.
And I did. Like a fucking champ.
Not one bit of nausea. Not one bit of light-headedness. And not for one moment did my brain even come close to its normal “fight or flight” reaction.
I left that place and was so fucking proud of myself. Like… on CLOUD 9.
But you see, it wasn’t about the tattoo.
Yes, I absolutely LOVE my new tattoo and the meaning runs deeper than anyone could possibly understand. My new tattoo represents a commitment that I’ve made to myself. A commitment that I will keep for the rest of my life because it is truly the reason I was placed on this earth.
So yes, I love the tattoo BUT the reason this is SUCH A BIG DEAL has nothing to do with that.
It has everything to do with the fact that it is the PUREST FORM OF PROOF that the work I’ve been doing for the past two years WORKS.
Not only have I completely re-invented my life, I’ve re-invented the way I handle every situation. I have re-written my own book, taken complete control of my brain and how it reacts, how it doesn’t react. And I literally changed a very very real reality of mine that hindered the way I lived my life for over 20 years.
AND THAT. IS. HUGE.
That is big magic at work. That is fruits of my labor. And THAT is proof that you CAN change your reality to be whatever you want it to be.
Mindset work really is the root of everything friends. And you’re in control of that.
I don’t just write this shit because it sounds cool and might give some people a little hope that their life could be better.
I write this shit because I’M DOING IT.
Because I am witnessing it work in my own life.
Because I truly believe that people have potential that they never tap into and because of that, they will never even begin to know what they’re capable of.
And if I were a betting woman, I’d bet you that the thing you’re capable of is GREATNESS.
So yes, yesterday I proved to myself that I was capable of things I never knew were possible and just as I suspected before, the universe lined all of this up with completely perfect timing.