I struggle with keeping the balance. I know it’s possible because I DO create it. I know that I operate better when I’m in a place of balance but the truth is, I must work hard at it.
You see, my instinct is to work my fingers to the bone until I can’t stand any more.
That’s what I’ve always known. I come from a world of hard working, blue collar badasses who work from sun up to sun down and don’t ever complain once because they do what they gotta do.
I used to do the same thing. I got to work early, I was one of the last ones out the door. I ran around crazy. I didn’t eat lunch. I drank too much. I was stressed. I didn’t sleep enough. I didn’t take care of myself but my work was always done, damnit.
IT WASN’T UNTIL AFTER I WAS RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL BY MY PARENTS ONE NIGHT THAT I HAD MY EYES OPENED.
I had killed myself yet again at work, on some project, and put myself into a state of severe dehydration and exhaustion. This time they kept me hospitalized for 7 days.
The first 3 days all I really remember is being woken up in the middle of the night to get medicine in my IV and my blood pressure taken. And the last few days, as I started to feel human again I remember sitting in that bed worrying about all the things I was going to have to go back to at work. I felt guilty because I wasn’t there. I felt scared that they were going to be mad.
I was sitting there working myself into a panic when one of the nurses asked me, “How old are you honey?” I replied “25” and she started laughing and told me that life was so much more than work and I could either spend the next 60 years worrying, or I could enjoy life.
She said this super nonchalantly, while bustling around the room doing nurse things but it stuck. I remember then switching my mindset to “How can I change this?”
And that’s what I did. I went back to work and set boundaries, I created new systems that were pro-active. I set up checks and balances that were not JUST ME. I created more balance than I ever had before.
But here’s the funny thing… I felt guilty. It didn’t feel right to NOT be working 60+ hours a week. So, what did I do? I took on more projects of course and the vicious cycle continued.
Flash forward to solopreneur Jamie days a few years ago, sitting in my living room at 2am building websites and creating content and again, killing myself because ya know “you can’t have balance”. Or at least that’s what many so-called guru’s will tell you. And it was in that moment that I got REALLY pissed off.
I vividly remember saying “FUCK THIS! I can and I will create the balance I want.”
I knew it was possible. After all, that’s why I was working so hard, right?
Interesting part of it all was that I wholeheartedly believed that the only way I could create any form of income was to work my finger to the bone, 60+ hours a week.
But here’s the thing, that was a limiting belief. That was BLOCKING ME FROM MAKING ANY MONEY AT ALL.
The way I was raised, my subconscious believed that you had to work super hard to barely make enough money to get by.
Which is ass backwards.
SO, I dove down the rabbit hole of changing my mindset around money, value of my work, and the definition of “working hard”.
It didn’t happen overnight, and it’s still something I must remind myself of EVERY DAY. BUT, I was able to flip it around.
I reprogrammed my brain to believe these things instead:
>Money flows easily to me every day, in full alignment with my purpose and it sticks around.
>I always make the right business decisions and being proactive creates the space I desire.
>I do enough every day. I am fully serving my purpose, my clients, and I receive abundance in return.
>My time is valuable and my tribe sees that, and respects that. I am in control of my time.
And there are several other statements I can give around this subject but basically what I’ve had to reprogram my mind to believe is that boundaries are necessary and are GOOD things in my business, that my business and life are one in the same, so living purposefully and enjoying myself is necessary.
That money is easy and flows and sticks around, it doesn’t only come after terrible working hours and it doesn’t come in small amounts that you only get to keep for a small amount of time. It sticks around and there are endless amounts of it.
Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, it’s the belief that by being proactive with my actions every single day I can create the space my soul craves. The space I need to create. The space I need for the lifestyle and business I run in the first place. It’s all connected, it’s all a circle that flows and if used correctly, can and will create the balance you seek. IF you’re willing to set it up that way and stick to it.
Remember, the change you wish to see in this world STARTS WITH YOU. So, get your house in order first if you ever want to dent this universe.
One thought on “Keeping the Balance”
This post is beyond brilliant and so relatable. And such an American thing! There is this 4 year block of my life where I literally only have memories of working. That’s all it was. Work. Nothing else. I don’t remember birthdays or dates or party’s or books. Just fucking work. When I decided I needed more in my life and stopped working so much, my self-esteem TANKED. But I’m recovering, finding that balance.