Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first.
I wholeheartedly believe that if you want to have any sort of successful or healthy relationship in your life, you MUST love yourself first.
I think this is one of the biggest pieces of the puzzle people are missing.
They seek a relationship to complete them. They seek out another human being to make them feel whole. And what happens? They become dependent on that person in an unhealthy way. A way that typically turns super toxic.
You can’t expect someone else to carry you. Not every day, not every step. Yes, they can help when you’ve fallen down but they are not your personal baggage carrier. They can’t be. It will never work. It will eventually become a burden. They will eventually start to get resentful and there will be tension.
So what happens then? People stay in situations where they feel like they’re suffocating. They get puppies or have babies or get married because they think that is what they are supposed to do and that it will make the situation better. They add another log onto the fire, another stone onto the pile, and someone feels like they’re suffocating.
But they don’t say anything. They keep their mouth shut. They don’t sleep. Or they don’t speak about it. Or they drink so much they don’t have to think about it. Or they work late hours so they don’t have to face it. Or they just push through until one day they break. They scream or explode or cheat or do something reckless.
And when that happens, everyone looks at the “here and now” and try to figure out WHY. What happened at work recently? or what went down last week? But what they fail to see is that this is a domino effect. This has been building up since the beginning. They entered into a relationship on a shaking foundation and built a life on top of something that wasn’t sturdy.
And inevitably, eventually it crumbles around you.
Being as one of my God given super powers is being insanely observant, I’ve witnessed this happen too many times to count. I’ve lived it a time or two in my past before I fully figured it out, but I learned my lesson. Sitting back and watching it happen to other people hurts. It’s upsetting that they won’t listen or don’t realize how important it is to LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.
It’s the foundation you need. You have to be able to count on yourself before you can count on anyone else. We’re all adults here, you can’t expect someone to step in and be your mommy or daddy and expect the relationship to work. That’s not how it goes.
It’s not too late, though. You can start loving yourself right now. You can make yourself a priority without taking away from the people who you are putting all of your time and effort into right now. It sounds ass backwards, I get it. But trust me, spend more time on YOU and you’ll watch everything transform around you. Not only YOUR mood, your feelings, your self talk, your energy levels, but the people around you will start to treat you differently. They will look at your differently. They will respect you. They will care more. They will see that light shining out of you and they will want to be around it because it’s so damn beautiful that they just can’t look away.
Your people, the people who are meant to be around you WILL see that light and will be drawn to it.
Keep doing you. Trust me here. Carve out the time every single day to work on the relationship you have with yourself. It truly is the most important one you’ll ever have and is the absolute foundation of every other relationship in your life (and your business).
You deserve to be loved by yourself. It’s not always easy, but you deserve it and if you start practicing this daily I can promise you that you’ll watch everything in your life improve.
What do you think? Are you in? Are you ready to make a commitment to yourself?
“Don’t forget to fall in love with yourself first”.