A mother gets abused, her daughter sees it, she grows up to think that it’s okay…thinking that behavior is okay. She swears she’ll never be treated that way but then she does. She gets stuck in a situation and she’s abused. She’s reliving her moms “mistakes”. The cycle continues…

Right? Or at least that’s what we’ve always been told.

But what about the other party? What about the men who reinforce that pattern? They treat their wife badly in front of their kids. They hit their wife, they disrespect her, they talk down to her, ignore her, they treat her like a piece of dirt… all while those little eyes are watching.

But all people talk about is the woman who is allowing it to happen. The woman who is staying. The woman who let’s her kids see that happen. The woman who sets that terrible example for her kids.

No one ever talks about the man who does it too. The man who is doing more teaching than anyone recognizes. He’s instilling things in those kids that will go with them the rest of their life. For better or worse, his actions will inflict something in his kids minds that they will carry and possibly re-enact at some point in their life.

I’m not saying only one part is in the wrong more than the other, What I’m saying is it’s a double standard. No one wants to talk about both sides. No one wants to admit that the man is as guilty as the woman, or vice versa. Maybe the man is repeating the pattern? Maybe he’s letting the cycle of HIS family repeat onto another generation?

Needless to say, none of it is okay. None of it is acceptable. It’s all damaging to all parties involved.

I remember being on the receiving end of abuse and being asked, “How did you ever let that happen to you?”

And then in the next breath,
“Oh he is has been through so much though”
Made to feel like the things that were done to me were somehow something that was MY fault yet his actions were justifiable.

How does someone’s mind even go there? How is that even a standard way of thinking?!

It’s really mind boggling.

And the longer I am present on this earth, the more sure I am that it’s part of my purpose to speak out about the insane double standards that our society has created to be our “normal”.

I will shine light into those dark, dusty corners of the box anytime it comes into my soul. And that is what I’m doing here.. If this post reaches one person and changes their perspective and maybe the outcome of their situation, than my mission is accomplished.

Be the change people. You do not have to be a double standard. You do not have to live out the story that someone else put out for you. You have control to make the change.

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