I realized today that I’m sick and damn tired of being lonely.
Well, I didn’t JUST realize this today but it did just become completely clear that this is a reoccurring thing for me and quite frankly I’m sick of it.
I could choose to get upset with friends or significant others for this feeling. I could be sad or unhappy or start a fight. But then I remembered a valuable lesson….
YOU TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT YOU
People treat you how you allow them to treat you. For example; if you allow your child to scream and hit you and you never correct them or tell them no, then you are in fact teaching them that it’s okay to scream and hit you.
Same goes for all relationships in your life
(friendships, partners, business associates, family members, etc)
You teach people how to treat you by what you ALLOW
AND by how you treat yourself. .
If you don’t value your time, no one else will.
If you allow people to push you around, overbook you, and make you frantic, you are teaching them that it’s perfectly okay for them to do so. You’re teaching them that your time is NOT valuable.
So my realization tonight is that I have no one to blame for this “lonely” feeling that I have but myself. I have taught others that it’s okay to treat me this way.
I’ve taught other people by never speaking up,
By never sharing how it makes me feel,
By never demanding them to respect my love, my time, or my feelings.
It’s never a fun realization when you realize that the people who are supposed to be closest to you, really aren’t there for you at all….
But sometimes, it’s a realization you need to have.
Sometimes the universe smacks us as a reminder that maybe the friends that we would bend over backwards for, might not really care as much about you as you do about them.
Or that because you haven’t expressed yourself on what you want or expect from a relationship, then you can’t expect someone to fullfill that or meet your expectations.
That’s the key word here: Expectations.
Because once you come to these realizations, that’s when it’s time to make a change within YOURSELF and your inner circle.
You remove the expectations from others.
You upgrade your circle. (Promote or fire them, You’re the CEO of your life)
You don’t expect people to follow through..if they choose to, that’s their decision.
But all in all, you TEACH people what you will allow in your life by speaking UP.
The moral of the story here is that things aren’t always perfect. Hell, things aren’t always great, but that’s okay!
Wrenches will be thrown in your plans.
People will let you down.
You’ll have an “OFF” day from time to time.
BUT It’s what you take from these types of moments that mold you.
It’s the lessons you learn that make the difference.
It’s the lessons that expand who you are as person.
And it’s those lessons that make you stronger than ever because even on my worst day, I’m still killin it