Control. This one word has so many different meanings…

I’ve always been the rebellious one. I’ve never liked to be told what to do or how I should act. I’ve always done whatever it is that I want to do, typically however I choose to do it. (Blame that on my father for telling me at a young age that I can be whatever I want to be)

I remember quitting sports as a kid because they told me where I needed to be and when (practices) and I hated it. The only time I found that type of control acceptable is when I was trading time for money, in my mind I justified that and was okay with it.

There was a point in my life where I DID allow one single solitary person to control my life. It blindsided me and to this day I can’t really explain why or how I allowed that to happen, but I did. However, In the grand scheme of things, that was only a small, tiny part of my life. A couple of years out of my 29 years here, so a pretty small percentage. Certainly not enough to break me.

After I snapped out of that situation CONTROL became even more important to me. I was obsessed with it. I wanted to be in control of everything. And if I wasn’t, I would ignore the things that were naturally out of my control… ya know like, the weather, or my income, or the hours I was expected to work.

It wasn’t until about a year ago that I truly redefined the meaning of that word. The word CONTROL means something completely different to me these days.

I write it every day. Everyday for 12 months. Over 360 days I have started my day by writing “I AM IN CONTROL” in my journal.

That statement always brings me back to center.

It reminds me that I AM in control of all things within my world. I am in control of my mindset. I am in control of my reactions. I am in control of my words. I am in control of my actions. I am in control of my consequences. I am in control of my income. I am in control of who is in my life. I am in control of how I feel every day. I am in control of my experiences. I am in control of the things I miss out on. I am in control of what I choose in all things.

I am empowered every single day by reminding myself that I CHOOSE to be in control.

I know that you’re thinking… “You can’t control what happens to you” And that may be true, but you certainly can control how you handle each and every situation and that is pretty damn powerful if you ask me.

I guess when you break it down, the statement “I am in control” reminds me that I am the maker of my reality. I may not always be able to dictate what is brought to my table each day but I am 100% in control of what I allow to stay and what I instantly send packing. I am in control of what part I allow to affect me (for better or for worse).

I AM IN CONTROL.

Does that mean I’m defining myself as a “control-freak”. No.

That means that I am powerful. I do not need to control other people, nor do I have any desire to. But I sure as hell will control ME always… and THAT is how I’ve designed a life I love…

Jamie and butterflies

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