What Do You Do For Fun?

What Do You Do For Fun?

“What do you do for fun?”
To be honest, that question always throws me. I know it’s one of the go-to’s when people are trying to get to know someone or reconnecting with a lost friend or acquaintance but it’s a question that I tend to normally cringe at. Maybe it’s the dreaded small talk, but maybe it’s not.

I found myself faced with this question recently in an innocent conversation while reconnecting with someone and I thought to myself, “Wait, what DO I do for fun?”

“Do I even have fun?”

As I continued to question myself I thought, “Oh shit… Maybe I don’t actually have fun. What am I doing with myself? Damn, am I this boring person who does nothing?” Continue reading “What Do You Do For Fun?”

Advertisements

Behavioral Patterns

Behavioral Patterns

Behavioral patterns will always speak louder than anything you ever have to say.

It’s more than the action being louder than the words… it’s the collection of actions or reactions to the same or similar situations time after time that tell us what we need to know.

It’s not an easy pill to swallow when you’re the only one noticing it. When you find yourself seeing what someone else has yet to recognize or accept, it’s a sign that you’re repeating your own habit of seeing the potential in someone more than you see the reality of what’s in front of you. Continue reading “Behavioral Patterns”

Celebration List

Celebration List

Lately I spend more time writing about the facts than anything else.

In my journal, that is. I’m writing a “celebration” list of all I’ve accomplished for the day. Documenting facts in order to combat the voice in my head that has always done a good job of convincing me that I’m not doing enough.

I’m writing ‘Dear Diary’ style letters to myself giving me permission to just BE. Permission to actually see that without massive to-do lists or lofty goals, I’m still doing So Much Every Day. Permission to follow the flow. Permission to operate differently than what once was my go to way of living. Continue reading “Celebration List”

My New Place

My New Place

When I first moved into my new place I was sitting on the floor on pillows where my couch was supposed to be, looking around my living room at the small amount of furniture I had and I started to envision what I wanted this room to be for me.

I visualized this desk. This simple desk carefully placed under this big window. This desk is where I would write all of my stories. This chapter was about to be the best one yet and this space would be the perfect setting for it to all unfold. Continue reading “My New Place”

Honoring every piece

Honoring every piece

Sometimes you have to be your own motivation.

In those moments when you find yourself slipping and it feels like you’ll never get fully back on track I’ve learned that nothing motivates me more than reminding myself where I’ve been and what I’m capable of.

This picture is from last summer. I had built more muscle than I knew was possible and honestly, I felt uncomfortable as fuck about it. I loved the body and curves I built but it was just unlike the shell I had lived in for most of my life so it seriously took some getting used to. Continue reading “Honoring every piece”

Honor Where You’re At

Honor Where You’re At

I felt like shit about myself earlier. Questioning my appearance. Pissed that I lost 2 inches in my thighs and 1.5 in my hips. I felt gross and annoyed and just ugh.

Pushed to go to the gym anyway. Sort of in a fog the entire time but intentionally focusing on the detail of every move I made, every set, every muscle engagement. That’s what pushed me through and the whole time I kept feeling like I wasn’t doing enough.

Like what in the actual fuck is that? I just did the same workout I did on leg day for 2 years to build that size to begin with. That’s a savage workout. Continue reading “Honor Where You’re At”

Half The Strength

Half The Strength

No one ever talks about how mentally difficult it is when you find yourself back in the gym and only having half the strength you used to.

It’s a serious struggle. In an instant you can find yourself feeling dumb, embarrassed, weak, angry, frustrated.

“How did I let this happen?”

It can be paralyzing if you let it. And honestly, several times lately I have let that voice win. And due to that, I started feeling worse. Continue reading “Half The Strength”